A " ONE-HIT WONDER "

CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

Every year, when January rolls around, I feel like a fresh start, a better lifestyle, a better leisure management, a better way  to go about things, in short a better me !

Of course, after a festive season ends, getting back into my daily routine and effective working is sometimes a kind of uphill struggle !

Yet, if I want to go on calling myself  Dany The Perky Busy Bee, I must be an eager beaver, a live wire, and I must be chirpy, as well !

So, last Monday I mustered up my energy and decided to apply one of the decluttering lessons from " The Life-changing Magic of tidyin up  " by Marie Kondo ( a Japanese organizing consultant whose book has been selling like hot cakes since it came out in 2014), a present from my so-far-away darling daughter.

I thought an organized clean kitchen was the way to kick-start New Year. I cleared the drawers, the shelves, the spice racks, the fridge.I checked the use-by dates on jars. I tossed out all the left-overs ( they had overstayed my welcome). The afternoon flashed by !

Just before dinner, I was standing in the middle of my kitchen, gazing proudly at the fruits of my labour, when, in a split second and without a warning, all the signs were there :
a scratchy throat, watery eyes and a runny nose...damn it, I was coming down with a cold !!

I was not to give in to such a trivial illness ! A toddy ( rum, lemon juice, hot water, cinamon and a clove) and a good night sleep would ward off that pesky cold !

Unfortunately, the next morning I had breathing difficulties and a chest pain, so I brought myself to phone my GP. His appointment book was pretty full, but, as I often have asthma attacks, he managed to squeeze me in.

By the time I got into his surgery, I was wheezing and a pounding headache was already nagging at me. To avoid risks of complications, the doctor put me on antibiotics.

Once I had maxed my " green card " at the chemist's, I went to my favorite haunt to swallow the first tablets prescribed to ease the symptoms.

Do you remember Jean ? I told you about that bonesetter in chapter 42 , " Is Perky Busy Bee a Barfly ? ".
Well, he was standing at the bar, and, as soon as I stepped in, he shouted at me :

" Hi, Dany ! You're a bit off colour ! What's wrong with you ? ".

When I told him about my awful cold and showed him my prescription, he shrugged his shoulders and exclaimed :

" Just bullshit ! come along, I'll cure that damned thing in no time !".

He asked me to stand very straight, to pull my chin up and the back of my head down a little, to pull my shoulder blades together, and to close my eyes tight.
Then he threw a punch right in the middle of my forehead !
The hit was so strong that I saw stars !! I was knocked out and felt like a boxer against the ropes. I was just praying for the referee to blow the final whistle !

It took me a while to dare to open my eyes. Jeez !! My nose was no longer runny, no more feeling of crumbs in my throat, and my headache had gone away !!

The only snag was that, even though I stared wide-eyed, I couldn't see anything : the bar was just like a blurred screen !!
Jean's blow had cured my cold, but had left me blind for the rest of my life !!

Suddenly the referee's so long-awaited whistle rang out. Somebody was tapping my cheek. I strained to see who had come to my rescue.

My husband was holding the car door open and said :

" Hardly had you got out of the chemist's when you sat in the car and sank into a deep sleep. All the way back home you were as good as gold. You didn't make a move. Yet, you were wheezing* so much that Canaille was at his wit's ends ! ".

Phew !! What a weird nightmare !

* Actually the referee's whistle I had heard just when I was about to wake up was my own wheezing !

Poor Jean ! I could imagine his face when I told him about the boxing match he had won by a KO ! A " One-hit wonder " !

By the way do you know what the phrase " a one-hit wonder " that I appropriated really means ?

Hope you have enjoyed this new adventure. Have a nice week and don't forget to share !

PS : Thanks a lot  for your comments on the previous chapter ! A special thank to Jacky for the funny picture , and a special thank also to Carole for telling me supermarkets often make her scatterbrained ...