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mercredi 29 mai 2019

LOOK AT THE PHOTO AT THE END OF MY POST AND HELP ME!!











Hello everydoggy,

My name is Canaille. I am an English Springer Spaniel and Perky, this blog's owner, is my mum.

Just a short post to ask you, dear readers, for some comforting words, cause my heart is nearly broken.

I think I am no longer Perky's and Daddy's only darling!
Of course, I still get a lot of cuddles and treats (not enough in spite of my begging eyes), but I feel there's something going on.

Every evening after dinner, instead of  sitting in the sofa with me squeezed between them, they stay on the terrace and whisper.

You see, when Perky tries to play the dog-trainer and gives me silly commands such as "Sit" or "Stay still", I pretend to be deaf, cause my honor is at stake : I am not a performing dog!!
But when Perky and Daddy whisper, I know I must prick up my ears, cause they are planning either a ride to the vet or a visit at the groomer's.

But this time nothing of the kind.
Every evening it is the same old tune. 
They go into raptures about my future challenger's pointy ears, fluffy coat and bushy tail.
Then, they say he must be young.
Why on earth do they want to get a puppy?
I'm nearly twelve, but when it comes to raiding the kitchen worktop or digging holes in Perky's flower-beds, I am second to none.
So, what else do they need?
Puppy's pee and poo on their carpet??

Jeez, human beings are sometimes unpredictable!

And the worst is that sometimes they add that he must be abandonned.
Well, good intentions, but they will be disappointed, cause at the nearby dog-shelter there are only old-timers.

Anyway,I think there has been a misunderstanding : " he must be abandonned"  is not an obligation, but rather a strong probability, cause Perky has taken a photo of my rival waiting in the garden with one of his buddies. The more, the merrier? How cheeky!

So, please look carefully at the photo, and tell me what breed is the new dog who is trying to rob my place in Perky's and daddy's heart?



Thanks in advance!

vendredi 17 mai 2019

A GOOD LIFE MOTTO






Hello everydoggy,

My name is Canaille. I am an English Springer Spaniel and Perky,this blog's owner, is my mum.

Today a short story to show you that whatever happens, you can always look on the bright side.

A while ago Perky took me to the vet because my eye was red and teary, and that naughty guy wrapped my head with an awful plastic stuff. 
It looked like a sattelite dish but it  must not work, cause it doesn't catch any tv channels. No way to watch the latest episode of  my favourite series "Game of Bones".

On our way back home we met a friend of Perky's and she said that it looked like as if I had a lampshade around my head. 
Did she mean I had a light-bulb shaped face? How cheeky of her!
Anyway, it couldn't be lampshade, cause it didn't light my way. Quite the contrary! I kept bumping into everything!

So you see, I had every reason to complain and make the saying "It's a dog's life" my life motto.
But I am not that kind of guy. English Springer Spaniels are wired for happiness and whatever happens, I always make credit to my breed.



Wearing that "cone of shame" meant getting eye drops 5 times a day and that was the bright side…

On the very first day of the treatment, I immediately showed Perky that putting drops into my eye would be a tough job.
Whatever sweet nonsense she cooed into my ears, I kept moving my head and blinking. So all the eye drops fell on the floor.
You see, Perky is sometimes a bit slow on the uptake, but when she realized I was winking at the fridge, she had a light bulb moment!
She took the cheddar cheese , my favourite, out of the fridge and  put it on the worktop.
Of course, I stared at that yummy treat with my eyes wide open, et voilà, in no time the drops were in my eyes and a bit of cheddar cheese in my mouth.
Lucky me, the prescription is : 2 drops in the right eye five times a day!

That's why my life motto is " When life gives you lemons, make lemonade".

What about you? Are you wired for happiness? What is your life motto?





vendredi 3 mai 2019

HELP!! I NEED SOMEDOGGY HELP!







Hi everydoggy,

For those who don't know me yet, my name is Canaille. I am an English Springer Spaniel and Perky, this blog's owner, is my mum.

First off, sorry for not posting last week, but once you have read my story, I'm sure you'll forgive me.

On Friday, April 26th,  when my tummy-connected clock rang, I woke up happy and ready for a good food bowl. As usual my right eye was a bit sore and tearing, but that small discomfort didn't prevent me from winning all  the "Fetch the Ball " games and from flushing out any hidden treats, so nothing to worry about.

After my morning stretching and scratching execise, I started pawing up and down* the kitchen, but unfortunately, whatever the way I looked at my desperately empty bowl, Perky sang the same tune :

"Sorry, Canaille, but the vet has said that you must be on an empty stomach".

The vet? I hate that guy! He is  really over inquisitive. Whenever I visit him, he can't help asking about my weight, and then he never fails to tell Perky I am on the chubby side.
Unfotunately, up to now nodoggy has been brave enough to tell him to mind his own business!

Anyway, I was up to date of my vaccines, so I tried to calm down, but when Perky offered to take a car ride, I immediately knew I was doomed to jump once more on the vet's examination table and bear his gibes.

Well, for once, he was  polite and told me I was a good boy.
Too polite to be honest…
A few minutes later he asked Perky to leave me and come back in the late afternoon!
I really freaked out and I saw that Perky had her heart in her boots, but yet she left me!

Then the vet gave me an injection and I fell into a world of dreams where I was the hero of the eight season of " Game of Bones ".
Unfortunately my dream turned into a nightmare when I woke up, cause while I was asleep, my naughty vet had put my head into a kind of funnel!
And you know what?
Instead of helping me to get rid of that ridiculous stuff, Perky just said :

" Don't worry, Canaille, within a couple of weeks everything will be ok and you will see clearly, cause your right eye won't cry anymore!".

So,  you see, I really need your help and all your tips and tricks to remove that cone of shame are welcome.

* For those who don't speak dog fluently,  to paw up and down means to pace up and down.

vendredi 19 avril 2019

A BEDTIME STORY




Hi everydoggy,

My name is Canaille. I am an English Springer Spaniel and Perky, this blog's owner, is my mum.

I enjoy sharing my adventures with you and your comments always make my day even if some are a bit teasing. Look at the little tip Francoise Z., a caring reader, sent me last week :

                "Watch your weight greedy Canaille!!!"

Thank you dear Françoise, but unfortunately one more time the saying "words are wasted on a starving dog " * has  proved true!

Here is what happened :

I'm crazy about car rides, so yesterday when Daddy opened the car door, I jumped onto the rear seat, ready for a new adventure, and all the more excited as we didn't take the road to the vet or to the groomer!
Then Daddy stopped in front of the chemist's and said that he wouldn't be long.
OMG, the chemist's is close to the baker's and soon the sweet smell of their mouth-watering kouignardises (a Breton specialty) started  tickling my nose and my taste-buds!


https://www.facebook.com/La-Kouignardise-301708713885541

...What could I do but jump onto the front seat and try to break the glove box open? 
I know Perky often hides treats there.
It was not an easy job and I scratched so hard that my paws still hurt. But it was worth it!
Finally the glove box opened and I found myself in front of a big pawful* of sweets.
Never seen that kind before, so it was just like "blind tasting", but after all, "the proof of the pudding is in the eating".

When I heard Daddy's footsteps, I jumped back onto the rear seat and pretended to sleep while my delicious booty was melting in my mouth.
I was so good at pretending to sleep that actually I fell asleep!

I slept like a log and when I woke up, I was back home in my comfy basket where Daddy had certainly put me two hours before. 
I was as calm as ever but that was the calm before the storm named Perky (aka my mum) struck.
She was furious with me, cause she said I had eaten all the rescue remedy pastilles she takes when in need of some help with stress or anxiety.



Jeez, that's why those so-called sweets had turned me into a kind of Sleeping Beauty (congratulating oneself is uplifting))!

Zzzzz….Oops, sorry I have nearly fallen asleep again, and yet if I want to be in Perky's good books again, I must sleep with one eye open!

So next time you give me advice, I promise I will follow it!

* Dog-English translation :

Words are wasted on a starving dog  = Words are wasted on a starving man.

A pawful of sweets = a handful of sweets.




vendredi 12 avril 2019

WHAT'S ON TV TODAY?









Hi everydoggy,


My name is Canaille the darling dog of the blogosphere and Perky, this blog's owner, is my mum.

This week I'll drop just a few lines because I'm on the watch!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a guard dog.
First off I think I was not born for the job.



And then, anyway, I'm too busy chasing the cookies to pay attention to the cheeeky rabbits who ruin Perky's flower-beds!

No, today I'm on the watch because Perky is in the kitchen and I must not take off my eyes off her.

You see,for me the kitchen is a strategic location.
If I manage to  sneak in, two possibilities.
Either I whine and make sheep's eyes at Perky , and then I can expect to earn my crust.
Or, much better, Perky is on a good day and she turns on the  kitchen telly.

As soon as my series is on, I keep glued to the screen!
Every time it is a brand new story, and in the leading part there is always a glamorous actress or a handsome actor.
Each episode is a real cliffhanger, and even though I know that suspense is bad for my old ticker, I can't help watching it till the end.

Unfortunately, it is always the same end and it leaves me frustrated, cause Perky turns off the telly, takes the main character in her arms and says in a dull voice :

      " Sorry, Canaille, but what comes out of the oven  is not for you! "

Why on earth isn't  the oven channel for me? Is it the same in your place? Please tell me!












vendredi 5 avril 2019

DOG-FORBIDDEN





Hi everydoggy,


My name is Canaille. I am an English Springer Spaniel and Perky, this blog-owner is my mum.

I am in a blue funk. Spring is on and I can't even make the most of our garden.
You see, Perky is not the kind of girl to beat around the bush and whatever my attempts to paw out and laze in the grass, it is the same old tune every time. 
Her " Sorry, Canaille, today the garden is dog-forbidden " leaves me dumbfounded and pawfully* sad.

Where have all the good times gone?
Impawssible*  now to enjoy a good fetch-the-ball game or even chew some tender roots!
In the early mornings I just have time to water the flowers* and put some fertilizer*on the new flower-bed before the sharp-toothed roaring monsters invade the garden!

And then, they spend hours digging huge holes along the alleys and filling them up with loads of stones.
Believe me or not, instead of scolding them, Perky congratulates them!
Even worse, at tea-time she lets them in for a drink and cookies! 
I bark at them, but Perky tells me to leave the workers quiet, cause they work hard in the garden and they need a good break!

Poor girl! I think she is going nuts! Since when has digging holes in the garden been rewarded with cookies??

Fortunately one of the monster-drivers is a good guy and never fails to share one of his treats with me.
Of course, he doesn't speak dog fluently, so to get a treat I have to scratch his leg and drool on his trousers a little more than usual, but as long as Perky doesn't see, everything is rosy in the garden again!!


That's all for now. Looking forward to your  comments.

                    
           Canaille, the darling of the blogosphere.






* For the readers who don't speak dog, here are some useful translations :
pawfully                                awfully
impawssible                          impossible
to water the flowers             to pee
to put some fertilizer            to poo


vendredi 29 mars 2019

AGE IS JUST A NUMBER





Hi everydoggy,







Do you remember me? 
My name is Canaille, I'm an eleven-year-old dog, and Perky, this blog's owner, is my mum.

Some weeks are just plain harder than others and that's what last week was like for me.
I went to the vet for a vaccine and you know what?
Perky told him a lot of naughty things about me.
She said I was getting a bit hard of hearing, napping all day long, and only interested in eating!

I was expecting my so-called devoted doctor to stand by me, but that was  wishful thinking!!
That silly guy replied that there was nothing to worry about, just normal aging!

So since then I have been doing my best to prove Perky that age doesn't matter as long as you are young in spirit.
Well, behaving like a puppy was no picnic, but as the saying goes, where there is a will there is a way!
Here are my best silly antics :

I have hidden one of Perky's slippers in the grass.  As that poor girl has no flair, she has not found it, and Daddy's lawnmower has torn it to pieces. Too bad!

I have knocked over the trash bin to recycle the sweet wrappers in my own way. They were delicious to chew but hard to digest. Not to ruin my comfy basket, I had to vomit on the carpet.

Unfortunately all my efforts to behave like a puppy turned out to be vain.
Yesterday Perky took me to the groomer and the aging issue came up again!
She told the groomer to pay attention cause my back was a bit stiff due to my age!!
That was the last straw!
Jeez, what could I do to prove her once and for all that I was still a young fellow?

Well, once out of the groomer's, I jumped into a muddy puddle in a puppy way.
Poor me! A total failure!
Perky looked at Daddy and said that sometimes old dogs go through a second puppyhood!! *

I love Perky to the moon and back, but that girl is sometimes numb, and I am running short of ideas to prove her that age doesn't matter.
So, all your ideas are welcome!


You can find me on my Facebook page :

https://www.facebook.com/Short-Stories-for-English-learners...

* For those who are not fluent in dog language, puppyhood means childhood.