samedi 20 mai 2017
MY DOG'S BLOG
Do you remember me ? I'm Perky's English Springer Spaniel.
You see, when the cat is away, the mice will play. I mean, when Perky is away, I won't obey !
So, while she is away with Ulysse, my so-called buddy, instead of having a lie-in on my comfy couch, I've been scrolling down her blog in search of some good readings.
You know when she is working on her blog, she sometimes looks up and stares at me in such a way that I was quite sure to come across a hearfelt post praising all my virtues and qualities.
Hang on, I was not fishing for gushing compliments ! I was just expecting to be the leading actor of quite a few adventures of Dany the Perky Busy Bee . A kind of tribute to the strong and close bond between both of us.
Curiosity killed the cat ( and the dog, as well ) !
I wish I had never looked at her damned blog !
After moving the cursor up and down for a fair bit of time, my paws hurt, and my heart, too.
It dawned on me that since Perky launched her blog, I have been the hero of ...guess how many posts ?
Just two !! Yes, guys, just two wee little chapters out of 117 !
And on top of that , " Squirrels drive me nuts " and " Dogs and deers " are not my best performances. Far from it ! They could have been kept close to the vest.
But listen, it ain't over yet !
My curiosity has really backfired .
Lots of photos in her blog, but once more, just two of me, and again a huge disappointment !
You see, she is a real pain when she pursues me with her camera, but, well, I'm easy-going (all English Springer Spaniels are), so I play the game : she is the paparazzi and I am the celebrity.
So, what the heck was she thinking when she chose those photos ?
In " The Case of the Biter Bit " I don't look my best : ok, I was just back from the groomer, but it was before going on a diet, so I was a bit on the sportly side.
But the worst is my photo in " Hunting Season " !! Really ! I just look like an idle-bone galoot, sleeping with his squeaky piggy !
In " Squirrels drive me nuts ", Perky wrote that ' ...it was love at first sight with that toy, and that she even wondered if their little rascal (that's me !) didn't enjoy irritating them with the squeaky noise ..'.
How ridiculous and offending !
That means she knows very little about me !
Squeezing Piggy to make it squeak was just a way to tell them I was ready to share my toy . Instead of that, whenever I put Piggy near their feet, they used to throw it away.
Well, I know Perky and Dearhubby are sometimes weird and unpredictable, so I used to fetch Piggy and bring it back. But then, thrown away again !
So, after a while, I got fed up, left Piggy in the garden, and unfortunately a playful fox wandering around tore it to pieces.
But I'm getting sidetracked ( Perky must be rubbing off on me).
Time is clicking, and Perky and Ulysse will soon be back.
I'll have to pretend I have been as good as gold, if I want to get a treat.
The remains of the roasted chicken ? Hope well and have well ...
So, before sprawling back on my couch, let me give you some good blog post ideas you could suggest to Perky , casually of course, otherwise she might get suspicious.
But I know I can rely on your mails * to warm my heart.
So, here is a sneak peek of what could trigger Perky's scribbling.
. The time I ran out in the garden with her slipper . She enjoys so much
playing '' Fetch the ball " that I thought " Fetch the slipper " would
make a change. She hopped so fast after me that go figure how I flung
the slipper right in the middle of an overly thorny rose bush ! Didn't do
it on purpose, of course, but ask Perky what happened then, cause for
once, she didn't look on the bright side ...but I was a hero ...
. Or the time when I nearly starved. You must have noticed that my
poor Perky is sometimes scatterbrained . She forgets shopping lists
and then goes into big trouble ( post " Shopping lists : to cut the
mustard or not "), she nearly carjacks ( post " All cats are grey in
the dark "), she sets fire on pumpkins ( post " The Squeaky Clean
Pumpkin ), and so on ...
So, sooner or later, I was doomed to pay the price for her absent
One day, she woke me up (always too early !) , prepared my bowl,
then left it on the worktop, and went to her study.
I started barking " Hey you ! Over here ! " . In vain !
Jeez ! I was not ready to fast !
I put my paw on her lap once, twice, three times, but she pushed it
down, and even worse, the third time she told me she was busy and
didn't want to play !
Had she asked me if I wanted to stay on an empty stomach ?? NO !
I started pacing up and down ,from her study to the kitchen and back,
but she just ignored me ! Ask her what happened after a while...
Oh, sorry, I have to leave you cause I can hear perky coming down the path. I'm ready to wag my tail franctically, jum up and down and bark, I'm so happy, Perky is back !
Forget about what I told you today...I love that girl to bits, and I think she love me to bits, too !!
Bye and don't forget : BE PERKY !