lundi 15 août 2016
Mrs BUTTERFLY ?
CHAPTER SEVENTY-NINE :
Last Hump Day while I was mapping out our next call to enhance it and make it as funny as possible, I suddenly realized it was already mid-August.
Summer time has gone by so quickly that within a couple of weeks our maiden voyage will already come to an end.
Perky Busy Bee ocean liner will head for its port of registry,http://danysteiner.blogspot.com , to enjoy a fully-deserved wintering.To run the gamut of amenities and facilities for the next hassle-free sailing season, all the shipyard staff will work relentlessly.
A little bird even told me that 2017 cruise should offer special features such as a photo-video gallery, and, for non-speaking English passengers, an English-Learning hub ! The sky is the limit ...
In the meantime, your captain (that is to say, myself) will shelve her navy-blue uniform and white-peaked cap till next Spring break.
Don't get me wrong ! It does not mean that the crew will be laid off ! They have always stood by me through thick and thin, and, once on dry land, things won't change. I know I can rely on their unfailing loyalty to turn the hazards of life into funny twists and turns !
So, quite sure, as soon as September comes, Perky Busy Bee will be eager to gather the nectar of everyday life and share it with you !!
Anyway, I must confess I loved my Summer job. Being the shipmaster of a virtual cruise liner was a wonderful and enriching experience. Exchanging with passengers from all over the world was just awesome. Actually, I think we've all become true shipmates, haven't we ?
I'm far from being a braggart, otherwise I would say that I was cut out for the job !
Anyway, holding the helm and paying attention to the reefs suited me much better than standing on a stage and keeping an eye at my score !!
Let me explain...
Ages ago, in France when you put up at a hotel, on your arrival day, even if you were French, you had to fill in a form with all sorts of information : name, date and place of birth,address, phone-number, and, as surprising as it may seem, your job !!
I still wonder what the hell they cared about that last point.
Who could have been such a moron to write down as an answer: catburglar or hotel thief ??
Well, such were the rules, and as we were everything but outlaws, we used to comply with them.
So, once, when going on Winter holidays, as the ski-resort was rather far, we stopped halfway to have dinner and spend the night in a charming little inn.
Dearhubby took the famous forms and said he would fill in mine.
Phew ! How nice of him ! My vision was blurry cause I was ravenously hungry, so answering all those silly questions was beyond me !
I just sat down in the lounge and waited for my ' knight in shining ' to do the job.
What a huge mistake !!
For a split second, I had forgotten Dearhubby was a prankster, and just a while later I got a strong reminder...
When he came back from the reception desk, he was smiling in a way which immediately made me fear the worst !!
Then he hugged and whispered in my ear :
"Congratulations for your new job ! "
I stepped back suspiciously and asked :
" What do you mean ? "
" Well ", he replied, "in the job box I have written down : opera singer !
The hotel manager said all the guests would appreciate if you could sing one ot two opera aria at the end of the meal. There is a stage in the dinning-room, and while we are having dinner, he'll manage to get a micro, a rostrum and some scores !
Fear and trembling !! The only things I had in common with the famous Mrs Butterfly were the butterflies in my stomach !
All throughout the meal I was in a kind of haze. I had always been bad at reading music, singing in tune and all that jazz, and at that very moment, even my heart was not able to beat time properly !
I was in dire straits !
Dearhubby had played a practical joke on me, and I was doomed to face the music !
By the time the hotel manager's ominous " And now,ladies and gentlemen, ... " chimed in, I was just the shadow of my former self !
Heart pounding, legs shaking and eyes blinking ? Sure I was going to split off from myself !!
I bade farewell to my earthly life and stood up.
As I was about to take off for Heaven or Hell (who knows...), I suddenly felt Dearhubby grasp my hand and force me back down onto my chair.
" Hey Perky ", he whispered, "take it easy, it was just a joke ! ".
The drum rolls in my ears faded away and I could catch the last words of the hotel manager's announcement : "....the famous conjurer ! ", and then a thunder of applause !
Yes, that night there was a performance, but Perky Busy Bee was not in the limelight.
My personal conjurer had played a trick on me,but not a magic one !
Hang on a sec, revenge is a dish best served cold ...
You'll hear about that in another episode !
Have a nice week and don't forget : be perky !!