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vendredi 12 octobre 2018

HOW TO CHANGE A DUVET COVER QUICKLY AND EASILY




Do you know how to change a duvet cover quickly and easily?

Yes? Please, help me, then, cause I've tried all the tips and tricks I could find on the Net, and it aways ends up in the same way : a bundle of cloth on the bed (the duvet cover) and a bundle of nerves (me).

In my previous post I told you how I changed a harmless pencil dress into an oppressive straight-jacket.
Well,  I had the same kind of nightmarish experience not long ago while changing the duvet cover…

Why on earth did I think that holding the duvet tight against me and slipping with it into the cover would be the perfect quick fix?
I guess sometimes my inner loony gets the upper hand.

So, I laid the cover on the bed, grabbed the upper corners of the duvet and started crawling inside the cover.
Unfortunately, it turned out not to be a bed of roses, cause a few second later I was stuck in the darkness, still clutching the precious corners, but unable to find my way in or out!
The more I wriggled, the more I got entangled into my "fabric jail".

I strove to stand up, and when I was about to succeed, Canaille, my nosy dog, pawed into the bedroom, didn't recognize me, cause I looked like an under cover agent (sorry, I couldn't resist that naughty pun),and jumped on me!

Boom! I was back to square one : lying lost in the damn duvet cover!
I could not do anything but keep under cover till Dearhubby alerted by Canaille's barkings came and helped me out.

So, if the saying " As you make your bed, so you must lie in it " is true, now you can easily realize how welcome and helpful you tips and tricks will be!!

vendredi 5 octobre 2018

WHY I HATE FITTING-ROOMS




Have you ever been trapped in a fitting-room?
Well, it happened to me a while ago and I am not ready to visit one of those awfu places again!

Actually, fitting-rooms are one of my pet-hate. I hate their merciless mirrors, their deceiving lights, and, above all, their curtains that never close all the way so anybody can see me trying to wriggle into too-tight clothes.

Anyway, last Summer I wanted to buy a dress and I couldn't avoid a trip to the nearby shop fitting-room.
So, there I was, all in a sweat, fed up and eager to flee that gruesome scene of self-torture.

I slipped clumsily into a pencil dress, and what was to happen happened…

I had forgotten to unzip it properly and it turned into a straight jacket in a wink : my head was half-stuck in the neckline and my arms were trapped in that awful " cigarette case "!

I tried to call for help. In vain! Sure, that dress was good value for money, cause, even though the zip was not that convenient, the fabric was pretty thick and muffled my voice totally!

After useless calls, I decided to shriek.
Bingo! A few seconds later I could feel the shop-assistant's helpful hand zip the dress down!!

Just a glance at myself was enough to crown my misfortune : tousled hair, red cheeks marked by the dress neckline, and my mouth wide open to take my breath back.
What a mortifying sight!

Then, guess what!

I was feeling so grateful to the shop-assistant for helping me to wriggle out of the dress that I bought it, even though it did not fit me like a glove, let alone like a dress.

Now, I guess you understand why I hate fitting-rooms. What about you?

vendredi 28 septembre 2018

PARKING LOTS DRIVE ME NUTS!





Have you ever had trouble remembering where you parked in the supermarket parking lot?
Rather nerve-racking, isn't it?
Well, something quite similar happened to me a while ago, and it was such an embarrassing moment that I am not likely to forget it…

We were done with the household shopping and while Dearhubby was paying the bill, I headed to the car to load our groceries into the trunk.
As I was about to unlock it, I noticed that the windshield was dirty, not to say filthy, you know bugs, dust and other grime.
Jeez, how could we drive safely with such a blurred view of the road?




Well, not really my fault, cause I don't drive, I mean, I don't have my driver's license : a real blessing for the other drivers and for pedestrians, as well!

Anyway, one thing was clear : we wouldn't drive back home with that hazy windscreen!
Lucky me, I had just bought white vinegar and paper towel, so I took them out of the trolley, and started scrubbing.

I was running short of elbow grease and patience when I heard Dearhubby coming behind me.
I didn't stop cleaning, but just grumbled, " Your car is absoutely disgusting! How dare you drive such a piece of junk!! ".

No answer back! Haha, for once I had shut Dearhubby up!
But, after all, it was not that serious, his silence was speaking volumes and deserved a smile.
I turned back, and, believe me or not, the man staring at me ...did not look like Dearhubby at all!

Actually, Dearhubby was striding towards the flabbergasted car's owner and me, and when he was within earshot, he shouted to the  poor man :

" Don't believe her, she is not a neat freak. You know, she can't help courting all the drivers with the same car as mine! ".

Then, he added : " Come on, Perky, woud you mind steering your trolley to our car wihch is parked on the other side? ".

OMG, what a shame!!

So, next time you are looking for your car in a parking lot, have a special thought for me, and take it easy.



vendredi 21 septembre 2018

A SCARY EXPERIENCE










What is your scariest experience?

Mine happened some years ago when I was living in a village in the middle of nowhere.
One night Dearhubby was away on business, and as there was nothing much on telly, I decided to turn in early.

Unfortunately, hardly had I switched off the light when I could hear whispers and muffled voices!
Sure there were burglars in the living-room!

I slipped out of bed and tiptoed to the kitchen to fetch something to defend myself.
As I was about to open the knife drawer, I got hit on the head!!

My heart dropped into my stomach, I saw stars, but I didn't faint.
I screwed up my courage and turned back sowly to face my aggressor.

Gee, my " serial killer " was lying on the floor, as stiff as a poker and with his hard mop standing on end!

Before going to bed, I had swept the floor and forgot to put the broom away.
When entering the kitchen, I had stepped on its brush, and it had made the stick tilt and knock my head!!

But I was not out of the woods…

The conversation was still going on in the living-room!

I grabbed a carving knife, slammed the door of the living-room opened, switched on the light….Not a single soul around!
Just the light of the radio!
What a naughty scatterbrain!! I had turned it down instead of off!

Anyway, all was well that ended well.

What about you? Have you ever had the scare of your life? Let me know, cause I am a bit of a coward, but I like spooky stories!







samedi 15 septembre 2018

THE HUNTING QUESTION IS BACK!










September marks the end of school-holidays, but unfortunately, the kick-off of the hunting season, as well.
One more time, every weekend the gunshots nearby or in the far distance will break my  animal-lover's heart and put me on edge.

Yet, as I have an English Springer Spaniel, when I walk him, people often ask me if he goes hunting.
A straightforward  "no" is usually enough to dodge any further questions, but last time a guy asked me about Canaille's hunting outings, I decided to answer "yes", make a prank,  and have fun.

And voilà, the ice was broken. The only thing I had to do then was to satisfy that enthusiastic hunter's curiosity…

Does my dog stay on tracks regardless of the conditions? 
Of course, he does! He is a persistent and determined hunter.

Is he good at flushing out its preys?
Jeez, good?? Are you joking? He is excellent! No way for its prey to hide and escape his nose!

His pointing behaviour?
Perfect! As soon as he has spotted his prey, he won't get sidetracked.

Does he bring back his prey immediately?
Bring it back? Hmm,...actually, he devours it on the spot!

Hasn't he been trained to bring it back?
Well, no, but cookies and biscuits hunting dogs don't need any training, do they?

I was expecting my revelation woud make the man laugh, but he just gawked at me, and then told me pedantically that English Springer Spaniels are born hunting dogs and it is a pity to deprive them of such a game!

A game???  That put me on edge again, and I answered : " My Springer is a lap dog, you know the kind of dogs who chase treats and comfy sofas. He just runs after cuddles, and would never hurt a fly " ( I didn't add that my sweet Canaille is afraid of them!).

That's how my one and only attempt to get on well with hunters ended up!
Sorry if there are hunters among you, but just have a look at the picture below, and think it over…




vendredi 7 septembre 2018

DOGS ARE GOOD HOMEHELPS




Hi everydoggy,


My name is Canaille, I am an English Springer Spaniel and today I'd like to tell you what a good homehelp a dog can be.





I hope that after reading my post, you will spread the word to Perky, this blog's owner, cause she is always complaining that with Ulysse (my Coton de Tuléar roomie) and me, it's quite impossible to keep the house clean.





First off, if she spoke dog as fluently as she claims, she would say " impawssible " and then, she would think it twice before accusing us wrongly, cause we do our best to lend a paw and keep our so-called mess under control.

Perky thinks that one of the best way to keep a house clean is to keep clean dogs.
So, when coming back from a walk in the rain, we let her wipe our paws before getting in.
Once that pad-tickling job done, we can get in, and that's when things go wrong.
To remove all the drops of rain hidden in our fur, we can't help shaking ourselves in the corridor, and you know what?



Instead of congratulating us for those energetic finishing touches, Perky starts whining that the entrance walls are one more time mud-spotted and that she will soon run out of elbow grease!

Getting no credit for your work is a bit disappointing, but we love that girl to the moon and back, so we forgive her.

And yet, when it comes to the windows, she really gets on our nerves!
When, to train to be good guard dogs, we press our noses on the glass to see if everything is ok in the garden, Perky says that she doesn't appreciate dogs'nose art!
So how come that she praises the stained-glass windows of the local church??

You see, she is really unpredictable, but to top it all, she is rather fussy, as well!
Stray hairs floating around?
The vacuum cleaner monster is immediately out, even though she says hoovering is backbreaking!
So, yesterday, to put an end to my dear Perky's backache, I have decided to strike a bow and get rid of the monster.



It took me a lot of bitings and gnawings, but it was worthwhile!!
The hoovering monster will neither run after me nor hurt Perky anymore, cause I've destroyed its two wheels!!

Now I am looking forward to seeing Perky's grateful smile when she
 sees my good job! 
I'll tell you soon.
In the meantime, have a pawesome week.

vendredi 31 août 2018

HELP, BIRDS ARE IN DANGER!




Do you know that squeegees are a real threat to environment?

Sorry for such a spooky way to start this week's story, but prevention is better than cure.

Whether you are a truly perfect homemaker or an awfully poor one, when it comes to cleaning the windows, I guess most of you often complain about all the streaks left once the job done.




Well, you know what? 
You should be happy, cause even if those pesky streakings blur your vision, crystal clear windows are a deadly threat to environment!

Let me give you an example, and then next time you clean your windows, you will think twice before exhausting your elbow grease…

A few days ago, after watching for the umpteenth time a tuto about how to clean the windows like a pro, I decided to invest in a good quality squeegee and to follow the metho step by step.



Quite a few strokes later,  the " haze " cleared up, I mean I could see through the windows as if there were none.
And that's the snag…

A poor bird didn't see one of our picture windows and banged its head against it! Knocked-out!!

Jeez, my first aid certificate was of no use, cause during the course I had learnt how to give mouth-to-mouth, but not mouth-to-beak!
As my squeegee victim was nodding its head slightly, I decided to take it under my wing (bad pun, but I couldn't resist).
I sprayed some water on its beak, put some itty-bitty crumbs before it, and then put it on one pillar of the terrace, cause I thought it would be a perfect tarmac.

Half-an-hour later my survivor flapped its wings and flew away, more shaken than hurt.

A little bird told me that now that you have read my story, next time you clean the windows, you won't bother if they aren't streak-free, cause I'm sure you feel concerned about birds preservation!