CHAPTER EIGHTY-FIVE:
Have you noticed how commonplace surveys and polls have become ? Now, we are asked to give our " considered " opinion on any kind of stuff !
The choice is boundless : from trivia such as washing-powder or wipes, to more serious matters such as health insurance or banking services, our feelings and personal experience matter. Or, let's say, pollsters pretend they do !!
I won't mention voting intention questionnaires French readers are doomed to be force-fed with over the next few months. That's another kettle of fish, and none of my business !!
I don't need surveys and all that jazz to bet that if I ask you " Have you ever met a ghost ? ", I'll get a clear and straightforward " Of course, not ! " answer.
Hardly anyone believes in ghosts, except maybe in "The Canterville Ghost "thanks to Oscar Wilde.
So, forget about any stories of apparition, today !
No, let's be more cheerful, and talk about " doubles ". You know, when you're quite sure you've met George Clooney round the corner, and then once back home you hear on telly that the star is in L.A. ! Or, when in a bookshop you hand your book shyly to your favourite author for a dedication and the man behind the counter tells you that you must be mistaken and that the only thing he is good at writing is text messages. At least if the guy is not a prankster and doesn't scribble a fake signature on the flyleaf ! It happened to a friend of mine who realized she had been played a practical joke on when the bookseller invited her to a booksigning with the author the day after !!
We have all heard about celebrities hiring doubles either to send paparazzi on a wild-goose chase, or replace them in dangerous film sequences.
Well, what works for famous people could work for any of us, as well !
It is said we all have a double somewhere on this planet,someone who is your exact look-alike.
Believe me or not, I sought mine for over one year, but I must be a lousy tracker, cause I never came across her !
And yet, all this time I knew my spitting image was somewhere around...
Let me explain.
In those days I had been living in the same district for quite some time, when my double played her first trick on me ...
I was expecting some friends for dinner, and as we had not had poultry for long, I decided to cook some Guinea fowl.
So, I went to the nearby poulterer, cause, even though I was not a regular, I knew it was good value for money.
Hardly had I stepped into the shop when he asked me :
" Did you enjoy yesterday's free-range chicken ? ".
First I thought he was speaking to someone else, but when I turned back, I realized I was alone.
He misunderstood my hesitation and continued :
" I mean, if it was not that tasty, don't hesitate to tell me. You see, I've tried a new supplier, but before making a deal with him, I need my regulars'opinion ".
Jeez ! Me ? A regular ?
I had not been to his shop for ages !!
Sure, he was mistaking me for somebody else, but to make sure I would get a prime Guinea fowl, I pretended to be one fo his loyal customers, and answered :
" It was perfect as usual ! ".
I didn't regret my white lie, cause the poultry was soft and tender !
Days went by, and I forgot the free-range chicken episode.
A few weeks later I was reminded that someone in the district was my spitting image ...
I was waiting for my six-year-old son to get out of his primary-school, when a schoolboy came to me, shook my hand and asked me if he could bring his mascot to our lesson the day after.
When I answered " which lesson ? ", he looked a bit taken aback and said : " Religious education, of course ".
Well, I had been baptized, I had made my communion, but since then a lot of water had run under the bridge.
The little boy looked so imploring that I told him everybody was welcome to religious classes !
I would have liked to get to the bottom of that cock-and-bull story, but the day after I was busy and couldn't check if one of the ladies in charge of religious education looked like me !!
To comfort me, Dearhubby said that some people don't have a good memory for faces, so no need to make a big deal out of that !
Unfortunately, a few days later his certainty was shaken ...
A new Thai restaurant had opened in our district, and we decided to test it.
The waiter greeted us very warmly, and led us to what he called " our favourite table " ! A bit weird, wasn't it ?
But that was not over yet, quite the contrary !!
When I asked him about the restroom, he smiled and said :
"Still at the same place since last week ".
Jeez ! Was it a nightmare or what ??
The harder I tried to explain to him it was the first time I had been to his restaurant, the more suspicious he looked.
Then, to refresh my memory, he added :
" You had your credit card ready, but your mother insisted on footing the bill ! Is that ok , now ? ".
I gave up, but the day after I went back to the restaurant with my mum.
" Let me introduce you to my mother ", I said.
" How naughty of you to make fun of me ! I do know that lady is not your mummy !! ".
That was the last straw ! I was stunned and I left the place at the double !!
I could never solve the mystery of my " body double ", but things went back to normal when we moved ...
That's all for this week, folks !
Have a nice week , and don't forget : be perky !!
