WHAT IS A DOG'S LIFE?

Hi everydoggy,

My name is Canaille and Perky, this blog co-owner is my Mum.

I have noticed that when life is difficult, unpleasant or boring, Perky often says it is a dog's life. How weird!!

You know what?  I'm the living proof that a dog's life is just permanent bliss.
No kidding, guys, from dawn to dusk I'm on cloud nine !

Very well- looked after ? Oh, that's putting it mildly ! Actually I'm spoiled !

Nothing to say about accommodation and catering : comfy baskets, soft fleece blankets and  a deluxe couch with memory foam  for senior(Xmas gift) are at my disposal whenever I feel like curling up or sprawling for a well-deserved nap.

Twice a day Perky calls me for a mouth-watering bowl of dry or lightly-cooked food. I never fail to be in the kitchen,bang at 7am and 5pm, cause punctuality is the politeness of kings (and for Perky I am a kind of king).
To thank my 'waitress', I always do justice to her meals, and then once done , I can  always see a springer begging for a second helping .Look !

                

Entertainments : I'm really lucky, cause I belong to a playful pack. I love playing " fetch the ball " with Daddy. He throws the ball so strongly that I have to run like a bat out of hell all through the garden to catch it. He sends it so far that sometimes to spare time I start off when he's still holding the ball, and then , go figure why he calls me 'cheater'.
I guess it must be a nickname, or maybe a way to cheer me !
Perky is not good at that game. Really she is hopeless ! She should tone her arms a little, cause fetching a ball which has landed only 10 meters away is no fun.

 


So, you see my life has nothing to do with a dog's life. I have everything to be happy...except (yes,that's the exception that proves the rule) two small trifles.

Why does Perky keep a monster in one of the cupboards ? When she takes it out, it makes such an awful noise that I run like a mad to find a shelter , and then Perky never fails to tell me : " Come on, Canaille, it's just a hoover ! ". I always feel like asking her : " Tamed or wild ? ", but I am too scare to bark at it !

The case of the Treats Drawer is a bone of contention. Perky opens it too rarely, and even worse she says it's no use staring at it, it won't open magically ! Well, I won't give up, I'll keep trying, cause as the saying goes : Hope well and have well ...

Well, you know everything about me. Feel free to ask me questions and I'll tell you how to enjoy life with drive and gusto.

Now I' bone-weary and I'll curl up for a nap.

SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER

Hi  everydoggy,

Do you remember me? 

My name is Canaille and Perky, this blog's co-owner, is my Mum.

Today a question if you don't mind.

By chance does anyone have the code to turn the rain button off?

No kidding! In Brittany where I live, it has been raining cats and dogs for nearly one month now and I'm really fed up!

Fed up first off with all those buckets of water falling on my head whenever I paw out. I have never registered for the rain bucket challenge, so whoever has launched it, will you please stop that silly game!

Fed up too with Perky's mood on rainy days. She keeps bitching about my muddy paws and my wet dog smell, but she should know that with my poor sofa-keeper salary I can't hire a paw-cleaner or buy any perfumed water!

Last but not least, fed up with the idiom " it's raining cats and dogs ".

When Perky walks me out in the rain,she keeps repeating it :

"Come on Canaille, hurry up, wee-wees, poo-poos, it's raining cats and dogs! " 

What as silly idiom! Just a quick glance around is enough to realize that  idiom is just rubbish!

I'm the only dog in the local  open-air restroom and even the  stray cats are off work. Raiding the bins in the rain is not their cup of milk (=cup of milk in human language).

So now I guess you really see why I feel low and sluggish.

Sure, yummy treats and chewy biscuits give me a temporary boost, but then I come crashing down again in my basket.

I'm sending you an S.O.S. Please give me the password to get some sunshine!

URGENT HELP NEEDED : MY DOG IS LIKE A CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF!

Is it true that cats and dogs are harwired to hate each other, or is it just popular belief ?

  Well, don't expect me to answer cause Canaille,my English Springer Spaniel, is anything but a risk-taker, and the smallest insect flying too close to him throws him onto Daddy's lap for protection.

  So, whenever I take him out for a walk, if we bump into straycats, he stops dead, as if rooted to the ground, and looks at me with ' Nope, not going there! ' eyes.

  The long-whiskered mewing creatures must have gossiped about the local scaredy-cat dog, cause every morning Leon,the neighbour's tabby cat, comes to play silly antics behind our kitchen glass door.

  No need to say that those morning performances drive Canaille nuts, and telling him that Leon is a dog-friendly cat doesn't calm him down.

  Why ? Maybe because the only difference between Leon and Lion is just a single vowel ...Who knows ?

  Anyway, all your tips to help Poor Canaille to overcome his fear of cats are welcome!

A SPAGHETTI-LOVER STORY

Today let me tell you a spaghetti-lover story.

Ages ago Dearhubby and I decided to go backpacking on Greek islands with a couple of friends, and, of course Jolux, our very first furry baby.

Once on the island, everything went on smoothly.

We let Jolux frolic in the backcountry, and when in villages, we leashed him up so that he didn't bother anyone, even though the locals used to give him lots of cuddles and pats.

Unfortunately, for his meals we had been dead wrong, and we quickly ran out of dry pet food.
 Asking the natives where we could get dog food (dry or tinned) turned  soon  into a daily headache !

We were so bad at making ourselves understood that once we nearly fed our hungry little dog with stuffed grapes leaves ! (by the way, that's delicious !).

We were fed up, but Jolux was not !

So, one day, in an open-air restaurant, we were about to order, when Dearhubby had a bright idea.

He would order two courses : a Greek salad, and meatballs with spaghetti and he would give the latter to our dog, on the sly, of course !

As soon as the waiter had served us, Dearhubby immediately spooned the spaghetti dish into our dog's bowl under the table. That "trick " took him just a few seconds.

Hardly had he put the plate back onto the table when the waiter was back with some water.

When he saw the empty plate, he nearly dropped the jug ! He stared at my husband, turned round and rushed back inside to tell the cook to keep cooking, cause there was a guy outside eating like a horse and what's worse, awfully quickly !!

We were doubled up with laughter ! Under the table our little spaghetti-lover, his belly full,  was having an after-lunch nap  and maybe  dreaming he was acting in Disney  cartoon " Lady and the Tramp"...

MY DOG CAN SPEAK! LISTEN!

Believe me or not, guys, but my dog Canaille can speak and he is pretty good at it!

His  favourite hangout to have a chat with me is the kitchen.

I'm an early riser, but even in the wee hours of the morning, when I step into the kitchen, I'm quite sure to come across him.

Sometimes I wonder if he was not about to raid the fridge, but I have never caught him red-handed (and red-pawed, either).

Anyway, my suspicions are quickly swept away by his innocent eyes looking down at his bowl, up at me and down at his bowl again, as if saying :

   " Good morning, Sleeping Beauty! I thought you would never wake   up! You know, I've been fasting since last night, and I really need to fuel up. Can't you hear my tummy rumbling ? So, if you don't mind, we'll have a real talk later ".

OK, then! While I am sipping my first cup of tea, he swallows down his morning bowl, and once done with it, he gives me a big ' Hope you'll repeat the invitation ' thank you.

                        

At lunch and dinner time, that good guest is back in the kitchen, ready to help and chat.

" You're taking the chopping board out ? Well, don't worry, Mum, if you drop one of those mouth-watering things you're cutting, I'll clean up the floor ".

" What are you stirring ? It smells delicious!".

You see, that guy always finds the right word to cheer up the lousy cook I am.

Don't misunderstand me. Canaille doesn't open his mouth just to play the food critic.

When I am brooding or worrying, he is quick at noticing it, and never fails to put his paw on my lap and say :

  " Come on, Mum, let's go outside and play a good ' Fetch the ball ' game. Sure, you'll realize all is not gloom and doom today! ".

That sweetheart has really a zest for life and today he has told me to share his dogylosophy with all of you, so here it is :

A SHORT THRILLER

Some years ago, I used to live in a village in the middle of nowhere. My nextdoor neighbour was friendly, but as deaf as a post. I mean, I knew I couldn't rely on him if I shouted for help. Fortunatelty the case had never arisen.

One night, my husband was on a business trip and I was alone at home. As there was nothing much on telly, I decided to go to bed to read the thriller I had just bought. The bookseller had told me it was a fast pace, tightly written novel that would keep me reading long into the night.

He was quite right. Not only was the story riveting, but the unexpected plot twists kept me turning the pages !

Unfortunately, a glance at the alarm-clock warned me that, if I didn't want to wake up with puffy eyes ( I had a busy morning ahead of me), it was high time to switch off the light.

After rolling and tossing a while ( I was still in the thriller), sleep was about to come, when suddenly I heard a weird noise, and a kind of muffled conversation !!

I tiptoed downstairs and found the dog up in his basket, growling and shaking with fear ( at the time he was just a puppy, not a watch-dog yet ..). I could still hear the voices !

Sure, there were burglars in the living-room. I slowly crept across the hall to the kitchen to fetch something to defend myself. As I was about to open the knife drawer, I got knocked on the nape of the neck !!

My heart dropped to the pitch of my stomach, but the blow was not that strong and I didn't faint.

Yet, I was petrified and unable to turn back to face my attacker.

The conversation was still going on in the living-room,so it meant the man behind me had at least two accomplices !!

Well, if I was about to die, why not die bravely ?

I screwed up my courage and turned back slowly ...

In a split second, my 'serial killer' was lying on the floor ! I heaved a sigh of relief !!

Before going to bed I had swept the floor and forgot to put the broom away.When entering the kitchen, I had stepped on the brush, and it had made the stick tilt and knock my head !!

But yet, in the other room the intruders were still taking it easy ...

I grabbed a carving knife, burst into the living-room, switched on the light ...no soul around ! Just a light on the radio !

Jeez ! When switching it off with the remote control, I had pressed the wrong function ! Instead of turning it off, I had turned it down !

Phew !! The thriller recommended by my bookseller had really set my imagination to a fever ! I should have chosen a fairy tale !
The Sleeping Beauty, for example ...

AN AWESOME ALARM-CLOCK APP

Hello everydoggy,

My name is Canaille. I am an English Springer Spaniel and Perky, this blog's owner, is my Mum.

I don't kow about you, but snuggling down in a comfy bed for a good night sleep is one of my favourite activities.

    NEVER WITHOUT MY SWEET TEDDY BEAR

Unfortunately my bodyclock gives me chronic insomnia. I mean whatever the time I have dinner, the rumblings of my belly wake me up in the early hours of dawn and then no way to get back to sleep!

What can I do? 

Paw up and down the kitchen? Absolutely silly! Everydoggy knows that exercising leaves you peckish, so no need to make me hungrier than I am!

Practise some counter surfing? Even though it is one of my hobbies, it is not worth thinking about it,cause before going to bed Mum stores any leftovers in the fridge! 

What else then?

Well, actually the only solution is to wake up my favourite breakfast maker, aka Mummy.

But if I don't want to get a tongue-lashing, I have to pretend I haven't done it on purpose. You see, at the crack of dawn Mum is still sound asleep and she could be grumpy if I started barking " Wakie, wakie, time to wake up ".

So, today at 5am I had such a hollow feeling in my stomach that I decided to lean against Mum's bedroom door and scratch my ears. No pawing at the door, no barking, just an innocent dog cleaning his ears against the door!

You know the song by Bob Dylan " Kockin' on Heaven's Door "?

Well, nothing of the kind for me! 

It was rather like " Highway to Hell " by AC/DC!

Mum stormed out of her bedroom and told me off.

Yes, guys, she called me names, and , believe me, not sweet ones :

" A stomach on legs ", " A glutton ", " A foodaholic " and so on…

But if words are wasted on a starving man, they are wasted on a starving dog, as well, and tomorrow I am determined to use the " ear scratching against the door " trick to wake my breakfast maker up, cause the early bird catches the worm and the early soul catches the bowl ( that's a saying I have just made up).

Now it is time for me to have a good nap. I'll be back on line soon. In the meantime have a fantastic week whatever you have planned.

                                                 Canaille, the darling of the blogosphere.