LOST IN ABBREVIATIONS

CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO

I don't think I'm a softie, but yet, getting a bad cold sinks my mood in a wink. One sneeze too many turns the Perky Busy Bee into a Sullen Drowsy Bee !

So, whenever I get a scratchy throat, a runny nose and watery eyes, I always try to nip the cold in the bud ! Hey, hey, a good opportunity to treat myself to a hot toddy ( a little brandy, fresh lemon, two cloves and hot water make a better medicine than any over-the-counter ones).

Yet, last week , even one glass too many was not enough !

My husband had been coughing and sneezing for over two weeks, and although I had kept telling him " Sharing is great, but keep your cold to yourself ", I knew I was doomed to be the next host of the sneaky microbes.

So, what was to happen happened ! On Tuesday morning I woke up under the weather. I dragged myself out of bed, picked at my breakfast and unable that time to stop the cold in its track, I wasted the whole morning grabbing tissues every two minutes and sipping hot lemon juice with honey.

I lunched on a healthy chicken soup ( the best recipe to fight a cold) , and as it was safer to stay comfy, I slumped onto the sofa and decided to map out the plot of my next chapter ( this week's chapter).

I read my list of topics all throughout, but I could not set my mind on any. Whatever I jotted down turned out into rambling and go-nowhere stories a few minutes later.

I had to face the facts : I was stuck !

The side effects of my bad cold ? I pretended to think so, but actually I was awfully ashamed !

Millions of bloggers post twice or three times a week, others even on a daily basis, and Perky Busy Bee would not be able to cope with one poor little chapter a week ?? I was cut on the quick !! I needed to make it clear !

I took my laptop, and a few clicks later, I learnt that the blogger's block is a very common disease. Nothing to worry about as there are countless websites to help you overcome that bad patch.

Anyway, to comfort myself, I started reading some bloggers' testimonials, and one caught my attention.

The girl was saying she could not focus on her blog because she was suffering from FOMO. It kept her sidetracked and unable to gather her ideas !

Jeez ! Sure, I had that disease, too ! But how had I caught it ?? FOMO sounded Japanese. Well, I had not seen my friend Yayoi for long .So what ? Food ? Impossible ! The Breton word for sushis is 'crêpes', and crêpes are excellent for health !

A visit to Dr Google's surgery was compulsory ( No need to bribe the secretary to squeeze you in, the doctor receives his patients round the clock). Whatever his diagnosis, sure he would give me the right prescription to get rid of that Far-East virus !

Dr Google was categorical ! FOMO is " a psychological disorder that is considered to be both a phobia and an addiction. It is related to technology and can cause havoc on a person's personal as well as professional life ", and worse " it has gone viral ".

Dear me !! What was that plague ? Were there any remedies ? Any vaccines ?

Oops ! While reading that awful description I had skipped the small prints in brackets, and that made all the difference !

Actually FOMO stands for Fear Of Missing Out ! Roughly speaking, it means you keep connected to all the social networks, you check your inmail box and your mobile every quarter, just in case you might miss something out !

Well, fortunately I didn't have all the symptoms, but yet, if I was there trawling through the websites just because of my blogger's block, it meant I was an easy prey.

It was high time to react and set myself limits.

Ok, but how ? I needed my computer to blog and keep in touch with all of you , so what could I do ? How could I make sure I would not get totally comtaminated ?

And there I went again ! Browsing the web to get some tips and tricks to fight FOMO.

How fabulous the digital age is !! In next to no time I got two solutions to my little worries !

JOMO and GOMO could change my life ! In addition, if I followed their

' directions for use ', sure I would be able to enjoy YOLO !!

Oh heck ! I was " lost in translation* " again !

Even worse, due to my cold ( or Internet excessive use) I had got sidetracked  and I had not even dropped a single line of my next chapter !

But, wait a minute !! In spite of my runny nose, my watery eyes and my scratchy throat, I guess I have given you food for thought, haven't I ?

Take care of yourselves and have a nice week !

* a very good film by Sofia Coppola

Any comments ? The safest way to get in touch with me :

perkybusybee@gmail.com

or a private message on Facebook

AN ARTISTIC CALLING NIPPED IN THE BUD

Chapter sixty-one :

Thanks to this blog, week after week, we have kept in touch, and now, nearly one year and a half later, I think we are kind of 'cyber friends'.

Even if you are still a bit shy when it comes to posting comments, your cheerful and friendly mails let me think that you are always up for a good time, quick on the draw, and never short of jokes, and even pranks ! (Come on, L..., I know you are not a chicken, but you, bungee-jumping ? My foot !).

Your encouragements, even over dumb little things, show me that I can keep on sharing big news, funny mishaps, and awfully embrarrassing blunders, with you. And I hope you'll share back. Confessing little secrets and getting that weight off one's shoulders is such a relief !

Yet, don't expect me to turn my blog into a reality show ! There are already way too many on telly ! Sometimes I wonder how long broadcasters will continue flooding the airwaves with garbage !

But that's another topic, and I won't tackle it because you would notice how touchy and narrow-minded I happen to be !

So, this week you'll have to content yourselves with one of my worst school memories.

I'm sure, most of you, looking back through your school years, can recall a misguided teacher disparaging your work, and negative comments carried like a chain and ball for years, not to say , sometimes up to now !

My Mrs Negative Comments was a drawing teacher in primary school. Well, I must confess I was not good at drawing, actually it was my worst subject.

I enjoyed tracing from books ( maps for the geography class, for example), but when it came to sketching, it seemed my right hand did not belong to me any longer !

No matter how hard I strived to apply the teacher's techniques, it always appeared I did not have an inborn talent !

To be honest, I was hopeless !

I even wonder if books such as " drawing for dummies " would have been of any use !

So, one day when Mrs Negative Comments told us that for Mother's Day we would paint a bunch of flowers, I felt petrified. Sure, I was heading for failure !

Anyway, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do !

As we could choose which flowers to paint, I decided on pansies. They were my mum's favorites, and I thought their petals shoudl not be too difficult to draw.

And it proved true !

Then, I took out my tubes of paint, my paintbrush, my palette, and Dany Da Vinci started her masterpiece :

emerald green for the stems, bottle green for the leaves, purple and yellow for the petals and black for the hearts .

For once, the result was quite satisfying. My bunch nearly looked real !

( Self-compliments are excellent self-esteem boosters ).

In those days, I already got gung-ho easily, and as you must have noticed all throughout the different chapters, whenever it happens, most of the time everything goes wrong.

That time was not the exception that proves the rule ...

So, there I was, admiring my painting, when suddenly my inner artist woke up. That bunch was far too common ! My mum deserved something more ! Something more personal, a kind of lucky charm !

A lucky charm ? Bingo ! I had found the idea ! I would paint a ladybird on one of the petals ! A long-time good luck symbol would be a priceless present for Mother's Day !

One spot too many on the ladybird's wings, and budda-bing, budda-boom !!

The spot turned into a blot !!

Never mind ! After all, the bigger, the luckier ! Anyway, I had done my best, and I had poured my heart into it. That was of the essence !!

Then, as the art class time was nearly over, the teacher came around to check what we had done. She stopped close to me, took my work and waving it, said nastily :

" Did you know that tortoises lived on flowers ? Well, now you do ! ".

My schoolmates burst out laughing ( let's face it : children can be cruel toward others !), and the only thing I could do was to sneak out of the room.

I was mortified and on the verge of tears !!

Mrs Negative Comments'remark echoed in my mind for long ,and even now colouring books remind me of her hurtful comments !!

Now, tell me, what about you ? Do you have a Mr or Mrs Negative Comments buried in you memory, too ?

Did you experience school upsetting and confusing incidents remembered for years ?

If so, it's time to let them out ! You'll feel better afterwards !

If not, well, it means either you were the teachers'pet or you were the

top pupil !!

Anyway , let me know quickly  !!!!

Have a nice week !

CRUMBS , THE BAKER !

CHAPTER SIXTY

                 

THE BEST ADVERTISERS

Ages ago, when the phone rang, I used to enjoy picking it up. First, because I am always in a talkative mood, and also maybe, because the very first summer job I got was as a switchboard operator.Hey you, don't laugh at me ! In the early seventies that's the kind of job students could still apply for.

Anyway, things have changed ...

Now, when I hear the ringing, I usually shuffle my feet to the phone set, because nearly half the time they are cold calls, and they drive me nuts !

Our house has just been done up, so I don't care about double-glazing,

insulation or solar panels !

As for complementary health insurances or whatever other rubbish, I have everything I need ! Period, point-blank !

The only marketing calls that can " tame the shrewd " I am ( just on the phone, of course !) are customer satisfaction surveys.

I think they are great tools for companies to get feedback, to pin down the customers'likes and dislikes, and improve their loyalty.

So, when  being polled, I am usually cheerful and ready to cooperate !

Yet, most of the time the pollsters ask me to rate my satisfaction on a scale from 1 to 5, where 1 is ' not at all important ' and 5 is ' utmostly

important '.

How puzzling and frustrating for a chatter-box like me !!

Never mind ! Actually, I think the best way to advertise for something you are entirely satisfied with, is positive word of mouth !

I try to stick to that principle whenever possible, but am I right ??

Let me explain.

A fortnight ago, after dealing with my job as a serial weed-killer ( wild garlic is back and blooming cheekily), I was on my way to my favourite haunt for an invigorating and well-deserved coffee-break.

As I was passing along one of the bakeries of the town, I caught sight of a man trying to push the door. In vain ! The shop was closed !

I always feel sorry for people locked outside a bakery !

Licking one's lips at the thought of treating oneself with a crusty baguette or some fluffly Danish pastries, and then finding the shop closed can ruin a day !

So, I hailed the man and said :

" There is another bakery nearby, and you won't lose out ! ".

" It's just struck 2 o'clock. Is it already open ? ", the man asked.

" Of course, it is ! ", I replied, " it is open non-stop.Fortunately there are

   some shopkeepers who don't think life stops at lunch-time ! ".

" Good ", the man said, " but do you think there'll be still some bread

   left ? Today was market day, so I guess they must have run out of

   baguettes by now ! ".

" Don't worry ! ", I continued, " they bake three batches a day , so you

   will never get stale bread there !  And if I were you, I would taste

   their multigrain loaf ! It's worth it !! Anyway, whatever you buy there,

   you'll be thrilled to bits, and your tastebuds will be grateful to you !

   You can take my word, I am a bread lover !

    A good slice of bread with Breton salted butter ! What else ? " .

I was about to go on with my advertising campaign (I can be inexhaustible !), when  a car screeched to a halt just in front of the shop.

A young girl jumped out and , looking at the man, spluttered out :

" Sorry for being late, boss, but I was stuck behind a tractor, and, as it is a narrow winding road, I couldn't overtake ! ".

Then, she took a key out of her bag, and opened the shop door !

I turned as red as a beetroot , and suddenly felt tongue-tied *. I would have liked the earth to swallow me up !!

Before entering the shop, the man turned back to me and said :

" Thanks for all the information ! Next time I want to launch a new kind of bread, I will hire you ! You are a very good advertiser !! ".

You know what ? I think I should change the meaning of my initials :

PBB stands for Perky Busy Bee

Well, I guess Perky Blundering Bee would be more suitable, wouldn't it ?

* When my hubby read  ' I felt tongue-tied ', his only comment was :

                   If only it could happen more often ! ....

A BUCKET LIST ? A HOT POTATO ISSUE !

CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE :


            

                     

Now I guess you are getting used to it, every two or three chapters, I like asking you a question. An occupational hazard ? No, I don't think so. It's just that getting some feedback is always pleasant and all the more rewarding as most of you make an effort to answer or comment in English !
You are really praiseworthy readers !

So, here is the question of the week :

Do you have a bucket list ?

You know, the list of things you want to do before you die, or not before you die, but just for fun !
Sure, you do have one ! All of us have wishes and expectations, but unfortunately no magic wand to make them come true in a wink !
My bucket list is my dream incubator. I know, sooner or later something great will come out of it !

Well, as my first question was a yes-or-no question, let me go further and be a bit nosier. It's my turn, for once !!

What tops your bucket list ?

Bungee jumping ? Volunteer work ? Travelling round the world ? Becoming a first-rate odd-jobber ? Running for the presidency ?

I am looking forward to your answers !

In the meantime, let me tell you what is number one on my own bucket list. Maybe nothing big for some of you, but for me a real challenge :

               Becoming a master-gardener !

There is a long way to go ...Since we settled down here, no matter how hard I have fought against devilish weeds and defeated them, I am still a budding gardener. I have not been upgraded yet !!

But this year, after spending winter browsing through seed catalogs, reading thoroughly '' Vegetable gardening for dummies '', I thought it was high time to achieve my dream.
" When there is a will, there is a way '' would be my mantra !


What kept up coming in all the magazines I had leafed through was :

             Think big, start small !

Ok, an herb garden would be a good test !
Chives, mint, basil, parsley, rosemary and thyme were planted without further delay !
Every morning I used to pace up and down my fragrant rows !

After all, it was not that difficult.
Why not go a bit further ?
And that's when everything went wrong ...

Next to our garden we have a fallow land, and I thought I could try a vegetable garden there ! A few rows of potatoes would clean up the soil
and remove the countless weedy patches !

You know I get gung-ho easily, and my naive side sometimes plays tricks on me !

Half a day digging left me sore all over, and what's worse the plot was none the cleaner !

When I told a neighbour about my miserable baby steps as a master-gardener to be, he offered to lend a hand and turn the soil with his tractor.He is a retired farmer, and idleness doesn't suit him as much as expected.
When, to make me at ease, he added ,'' You know, I miss ploughing and furrows ", it should have tipped me off !
Instead, I answered , " It's a deal ! ".

Two days later, he was standing at the door, beaming with joy !

" Ready, Dany ? Put on your boots and take your seed bag with you ! ".

First, I thought he wanted to show me how to drive his tractor, and I felt embarrassed. You remember, the only four-wheeled vehicle I can drive is a shopping trolley !

Short-lasting uneasiness !!

The fallow land had left place to an endless plowed field, big enough to launch a potato business !
My neighbour had not done things by halves.
Had I forgotten to tell him I was a budding gardener, not  a graduate one, let alone a farmer to be ??

Well, have you ever been offered a present and had to pretend you were thrilled to bits  ( while thinking you would shelf it for ever at the top of a cupboard) ?
Then, you know how I was feeling !!

Anyway, I had to put up a good show !

I managed to take a deep breath and exclaimed :

" Great ! You have thought big, haven't you ? "

" Don't worry ! ", he replied," if you want I can dig some more
furrows ".

I could feel shivers all along my spine ...

" Thanks ", I muttered, " I'll let you know, but in-between I think I 'll go on a field trip ".

After a nightmarish night spent ,either falling into furrows as deep as trenches or struggling not to be  buried under grinning potatoes  , I took my bucket list and erased number 1 to concentrate on number 2 !
After all, maybe potaotes are my pet-hate ! You remember chapter
" Flying potatoes ", don't you ?



So, what is number 2 on my bucket list ? Have a guess !!

HAPPY HE WHO,LIKE ULYSSES ...

CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT

                             

Some time ago a long-standing reader (and a long-standing friend, as well) pointed out that since I started this blog, Canaille, the English Springer Spaniel, has often been mentionned, but not a single word about Ulysse, the Coton of Tulear, and even more puzzling my husband seems to be off the face of the earth !!

Well, I must admit that keen observer is quite right ! So, as he keeps insisting on that , I guess I owe you some explanations.

Don't get me wrong, nosy readers ! If you are expecting some "spicy details " about my hubby and me, you're entirely mistaken. Mum's the word ! Case closed !

Anyway, don't feel disappointed, our couple has never hit the headlines of the tabloids ( or gutter press, as you like).

Now, let's come to Ulysse. Has this sweet little doggy demanded no intrusion into his privacy ? Not at all !

So what ? How come Canaille is often ont the front cover whereas Ulysse has to do with a supporting role ?

Come on, how dare you ask such a question !

We are animal-lovers, so we give both of them equal amounts of love and care. No favoritism !

But,whereas Canaille (8 years old) still happens to be nutty (mad circuits round the garden), Ulysse strives to prove " the older the wiser" is a true saying. He is also the living proof that dogs are man's best friends

And yet, some years ago he could have thought that men were not dogs' best friends !

In those days my mother-in-law was still alive , and she used to ride around with Ulysse everywhere. As soon as she opened the car rear door, Ulysse would jump in. He enjoyed lying on the parcel-shelf !

Unfortunately, one day his leash got caught in the door, but my mother-in-law didn't notice it. She started the car and off she went !

After a while,wondering why car drivers were flashing their headlights to her, she parked on the side of the road, got out and found poor Ulysse panting and his paws covered in blood !!

The poor little guy had been dragged out behind the car and the skin of his paws were ripped off !!

The vet had him on antibiotics and pain medication. He told my mother-in-law to clean the wounds once a day and to make sure to keep the dressings dry.

That was another kettle of fish ...

It was the rainy season in Brittany(no smirk, please !), but Ulysse could not wait for sunny spells to do his business ! That meant changing the dressings four or five times a day. My mother-in-law was remorse-ridden, but despite the sweet treats she spoiled Ulysse with, he hardly let her touch his paws ! So, you can easily imagine how miserable " the nurse and the patient " felt after each outing !

When my mother-in-law told my husband about her trouble on the phone, he suggested her jokingly to try protecting the dressings with condoms !!

Actually, it seems they would meet all her requirements ( I'll skip the details, no need to draw a picture !).

Well, my mother-in-law took that suggestion seriously,but didn't dare to go to the chemist's ( no vending machines around at the time) :

An elderly lady buying condoms for .....her dog ! My foot !

The rumour would have spread like wildfire !!

Fortunately, her young cleaning lady agreed to do her that favour and bought  the " protections " !

And it worked !!

Ulysse kept them all day long, and could go out whenever necessary. They were taken off only once a day when the dressings had to be changed !

Three weeks later the brave little dog had recovered, and didnt even bear a grudge to his mum !!

So, don't forget : safety first !!

THRILL -SEEKER

 CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN


           

                   

First of all let me tell you that writing this week's chapter was far from being as easy as pie. Indeed, it was just as if I was back to square one. My smoothly-running method to build a story ? Gone with the wind ! I was feeling adrift and anchorless, and even worse, I was battening down the hatches !

Don't get me wrong ! Nothing to do with the writer's block ! I was not running dry of ideas ! Quite the contrary ! But, once more, the snag was what to start with.

Then, two days ago, as the countdown was coming close to zero, I decided to pull myself together and take it easy ! Come what may !

So, first, let me thank you for playing the game and cramming my inmail box with your witty, funny, shy and sometimes weird answers. You've been absolutely fabulous ! Thanks a million !

OK, done ! You see, that's just the kind of beginning I wanted to avoid ! It seems a bit mawkish, but, after reading your comments, I desperately wanted to pay a tribute to our efforts and loyalty !

So, forgive the lack of style in my thank-you words.

After all, to be honest, I didn't want to go overtop, otherwise you might get too big for your boots !

Anyway, regarding your answers to the question in chapter 55 " A story that has some teeth ", I have noticed that among you there are backpackers who are real thrill seekers. The spooky places they told me about gave me goosebumps !

Fortunately, to my great relief, others confessed their fear of the dental or doctor surgery, whereas for one more outgoing reader, the scariest experience was going to a sports club for the first time ( you know, feeling awkward, as stiff as a poker, and bulging out of a brand-new gym outfit !).

Well, I guess whatever our fears are, we should strive to get over them.

But, between you and me, don't we enjoy playing with fire from time to time ? As far as I am concerned, I do ! Let me give you an example.

Some years ago, I used to live in a village in the middle of nowhere. My nextdoor neighbour was friendly, but as deaf as a post. I mean, I knew I couldn't rely on him if I shouted for help. Fortunatelty the case had never arisen.

One night, my husband was on a business trip and I was alone at home. As there was nothing much on telly (as usual), I decided to go to bed to read the thriller I had just bought. The bookseller had told me it was a fast pace, tightly written novel that would keep me reading long into the night.

He was quite right. Not only was the story riveting, but the unexpected plot twists kept me turning the pages !

Unfortunately, a glance at the alarm-clock warned me that, if I didn't want to wake up with puffy eyes ( I had a busy morning ahead of me), it was high time to switch off the light.

After rolling and tossing a while ( I was still in the thriller), sleep was about to come, when suddenly I heard a weird noise, and a kind of muffled conversation !!

I tiptoed downstairs and found the dog up in his basket, growling and shaking with fear ( at the time he was just a puppy, not a watch-dog yet ..). I could still hear the voices !

Sure, there were burglars in the living-room. I slowly crept across the hall to the kitchen to fetch something to defend myself. As I was about to open the knife drawer, I got knocked on the nape of the neck !!

My heart dropped to the pitch of my stomach, but the blow was not that strong and I didn't faint.

Yet, I was petrified and unable to turn back to face my attacker.

The conversation was still going on in the living-room,so it meant the man behind me had at least two accomplices !!

Well, if I was about to die, why not die bravely ?

I screwed up my courage and turned back slowly ...

In a split second, my 'serial killer' was lying on the floor ! I heaved a sigh of relief !!

Before going to bed I had swept the floor and forgot to put the broom away.When entering the kitchen, I had stepped on the brush, and it had made the stick tilt and knock my head !!

But yet, in the other room the intruders were still taking it easy ...

I grabbed a carving knife, burst into the living-room, switched on the light ...no soul around ! Just a light on the radio !

Jeez ! When switching it off with the remote control, I had pressed the wrong function ! Instead of turning it off, I had turned it down !

Phew !! The thriller recommended by my bookseller had really set my imagination to a fever ! I should have chosen a fairy tale !
The sleeping Beauty, for example ...

A VERY TIGHT STORY

CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX

                      

While I was maping out the plot of this new chapter, I suddenly realized that, even though I don't really know most of you, actually most of you know me !

I mean, if you were asked " What is Perky Busy Bee like ?", you wouldn't get flustered, would you ?

The comments you make either on the blog or in my inmail box show that you are lenient readers and keen observers,as well. Let me quote some remarks that keep up coming :

" Hi, Perky, you see everything through rose-coloured glasses,don't you ?"

Well, at least I try to look on the bright side. Of course, I know it is not always wine and roses, but, anyway, life would be rather dull if it were plain sailing !

" Hello Mrs PBB, I think your main character trait is to be chirpy,isn't it ?".

Quite right ! Even when alone, I often happen to hum. It could explain the heavy downpours and very few lulls since early January !

" Sorry for being nosy,Mrs Bee, but being such an animal lover, are you vegan ? "

Don't apologize ! It is not an indiscreet question at all ! After being scared stiff of dogs, cats and any pets, it is true that now I dote on them. I have often thought of going vegan, but never made the decision. Time will tell ...

Oops, I was about to forget the best comment !!

After reading chapter " All cats are grey in the dark" and chapter "Add a pinch of humour and Bob's your uncle ", you've awarded me :

" The most scatterbrained blogger prize " !

Then, as overindulgent as usual, you have added that maybe it was the symptom of a hectic life !!

Come on, stop buttering me up ! I live " far from the madding crowd " (a good book by Thomas Hardy) and the only stress I can get is to bore you !

Anyway, I agree with you. I am scatterbrained. I have always been. It has often played tricks on me, but as I am optimistic, I just remember the times that shortcoming has worked in my favour. Let me give you an example :

Some months ago, my husband and I decided to treat ourselves with a very good meal. We had already indulged ourselves in delicious but fattening foods, but we thought it would be the last time before going on a drastic diet ( for the umpteenth time ...).

Breton cuisine is rich and varied, and treating our tastebuds was as easy as pie !

What a wonderful meal ! It still makes my mouth water ! Stuffed spider crab, lobster with a fabulous creamy sauce, not to mention the dessert !

The next morning I had to go downtown, and as rain was forecast, I put on my raincoat.

Jeez ! I started feeling the side effects of our food binge.

Not only was I feeling bloated and overly full, but even worse, I could hardly button up my raincoat ! A glance at myself in the mirror before leaving shattered me down ! I looked like a tied roast ! That was the full monty !!

It was high time to fast, or at least to go easy on food !

I took off my raincoat, put on a loose windbreaker, and rushed to the greengrocer's to raid his crates.

The next two days I gulped down lots of veggies, and swallowed litres of lemon water.

Then, on the third day, as I was boiling some fish for lunch, the phone rang. It was a blocked number, and I answered rather abruptly. Cold calls get on my nerves !!

The lady on the other end of the line said :

" Sorry for being a nuisance, but some days ago we had dinner in the same restaurant, and I thin you left with my raincoat instead of yours.

The restaurant manager kindly accepted to give me the guests' phone-numbers, and since then I have been repeating on and on the story of my raincoat-napping ( a new word similar to kid-napping). You are my last hope !".

" Oh,good, well that's a load off ! I thought my raincoat had shrunk due to last month heavy downpours ! ", I answered mischievously ( no need to give further details...).

We made an appointment to swap our precious garments !

Moral of my story ( just for fun) :

If I had not been scatterbrained, I would not have taken the wrong raincoat, and I would not have gone on a diet !!