WELL-BEHAVED DOG

Hi my favourite bunch,

First off, are there newbies on line ? Yes ? Welcome, then, and thanks for being here !

As a bit of background, my name is Canaille. That's a French name. In English, it's ' Can I ', cause I am well-mannered, and always ask for permission , for example, ' Can I have a treat ?, Can I jump and cuddle on your lap ? Can I have a bite of your food ? Can I sprawl on the sofa ? and so on...

So, you see what a gentledog I am !

I am an English Springer Spaniel, and to let Perky, my mum, make the most of the Summer Holiday season here in France, I have offered to fill her shoes and blog for her.

So, here I am today, ready for our weekly appointment, and what comes to my mind right now is a question.

                           How good are you at keeping a secret ?

I mean, can you keep your lips sealed and be as silent as a grave whatever happens, or can anything unexpected loosen your tongue, and make you spill the beans accidentally ?

Rather awkward to spill the beans,but if they are raw green beans, it's no big deal. I'm partial to them and I'll take them !

But let's stop joking and get back on track.

I do apawlogize for my nosy question, but I really need to know if I am an incorrigible blunderer, or if any of you have already been in such an embarrassing situation, and how you have managed to be forgiven.

So, let me tell you why this week I am inquisitive.

Over the last few days things have not been going that smoothly between Perky and me.

Nothing to worry myself sick, cause Perky is a dogaholic, and I am the apple of her eye, but there's a kind of resentment floating around.

Quite jaw-dropping as I didn't see it coming.

Till last week I was feeling happy-go-Lucky. My Summer job as a wannabe blogger was going swimmingly, and, I must confess that all your boosting " Good job, keep going ! " and your cracking " Way to 

go  " let me hope I'd soon become a full-fledged blogger. I was really into it, and every week I was chuffed to share my pawsome adventures with all of you !

Everything was going like clockwork, and then suddenly, just a few lines too many in my last week post, and bye bye my great expectations : gone with the wind.

Yes, guys, all my dreams to fly solo in the blogosphere and become a first-rate blogging dog, have nearly gone up in smoke !

Nearly, but not totally ! Perhaps, I can still make up for my blunder with your tips and tricks...

But, have I really made a blunder ? I don't know, but the fact is that Perky was not a happy bunny when she read my post about her first steps into the fitness world ! She is usually easy-going, but every so often she has a real knack for overstating things.

So, when she found out that I had told you she is as stiff as a poker, she went ballistic, and even called me a tattle-tale. She said that spreading people's little secrets is a definite no-no !

I'm sorry but she is anything but supple. It's an open secret, it is what it is, and after all, nodoggy is perfect !

So, as long as she has not taken a chill pill, I'll stick to " Don't be too clingy and lie low ".

Yet, I know revenge is a dish best served cold, and I guess that as soon as Perky runs her blog again, she won't fail to give away my two main quirks. So better do it myself !

I'm a spoiled dog, and I've got plenty of squeaky toys, but empty plastic bottles are my favourite.

Give me one, and I turn into a smashing recycler. My jaws don't fit on the large part, so I let it roll away, and then chase it. I'm an expert on it and one leap is enough to land on my prey ( I'm an outstanding 

long-jumper).

Then I parade with it a little  to let it squeak for mercy. When my Mum cries for mercy,too (she doesn't have a musical ear), I give it the coup de grâce and chew its cap off . And shoo !!

So, if you don't know what to do with your plastic bottles, either click on the link at the bottom of this post, or " better call Canaille " ( a doggy version of " Better call Saul ", a series about the trials and tribulations of a criminal lawyer).

My second and last quirk...yes, buddies, I've only got two ! I know I have just told you that nodoggy is perfect, but I'm the exception that proves the rule !

I'm a jolly walker, a first-rate ' Fetch the ball ' player, a second-to-none cuddle-giver, but when it comes to sleeping, I'm quite self-demanding. I do pay attention to have enough naps to keep my sanity, and I usually have an early night.

But when Perky and Sugardaddy have guests, difficult to get to sleep.

They spend time round the table, eating ( Perky's stern look keeps me away), chatting (no way to join the conversation, my woofs are just all Greek to them), and laughing, and I can't sleep a wink !

Enough is enough !

So, when it is past my bedtime, I usually fetch my comfy basket and drag it all around the table, with a stop and a deep sigh near each guest.

Most of the time, my little game triggers at least one quick glance at a watch and then I'm saved ! Off they go !

A bit rude, but, anyway, less rude than what Charlie, one of Mum's previous dogs, used to do to chase the guests away.

Guess what !!

He f---- ! Yes, guys, Charlie could be a" gassy " dog when needed !

Now, you know everything about me, and you know why I'm not really in Perky's good books at the moment. 

Your suggestions to help me get through that rough patch are welcomed on

perkybusybee@gmail.com

In the meantime, be pawesome, and don't forget : BE PERKY !

                             Your devoted Canaille

By the way, if I had been a she-dog, I would have signed all my posts :

                             Virginia Woof ( classy, isn't it ?)

http://www.networx.com/article/top-20-things-to-do-with-an-old-plastic