HELP, MY DOG DRIVES ME NUTS!

My dog is a jolly good fellow and I love him to the moon and back, but sometimes his silly antics  put the shame on me and drive me nuts.

Let me walk you through it.

Last month two friends of ours came around for dinner and spoiled Canaille with a dog toy. Actually it was a little piggy grunting when squeezed.

Toys usually last maximum one day before Canaille totally destroys them. But that time it was love at first sight ! He didn't chew it to bits the first day he got it which by our dog's standards meant it probably got a long toy lifespan !

 He went crazy fort that toy. We even wondered if our little rascal didn't enjoy irritating us with the squeaky noise...Anyway,it entertained him for days, till, as scatterbrained as his Mum, he left it one evening in the garden.

The next morning, as I was opening the shutters, I caught sight of the fox (one of our permanent residents) fleeing away with the pig in its mouth ! Too bad !!!

To compensate for the loss, we went to the local groomer to get a similar toy. No squeaky pigs there, but a  cute little squirrel making a funny giggle when touched.

First Canaille turned up his nose at it, but after sulking a little in his basket, he let himself go and make friend with his new buddy. 

And there we went again !! No "oink, oink" anymore, but " hi,hi" instead ! Sometimes a bit nerve-racking, but we ended up ignoring it.

Soon the squirrel and our dog ( could be the title of a tale) became lifelong friends.Where there was one, there was the other. Even when going somewhere by car with us, Canaille always managed to smuggle his buddy onto the backseat !

Now, see what happened one day ...

We were on our way to the supermarket when we saw a schoolboy hitchhiking. As it was pouring down, we decided to pick him up.

The poor guy had missed the schoolbus and would certainly get a detention for being late. We offered to give him a lift to his grammar-school.He thanked us profusely, and was about to get in when I told him that it would be safer (hum,Canaille a watch-dog ?My foot !) and cleaner ( our dog is a lap dog) to sit in the front seat. Then, I got into the back and we set off again.

The schoolboy was not an experienced hitchhiker and thus, not used to small talks. To break the ice, I asked him which form he was in ( spoof question, isn't it ?).Hardly had he answered when I realized I was sitting on Canaille's squirrel.I moved a little to take it, and what was to happen happened : the damned giggle went off !!!

The poor shy boy turned round and stared at me !

I was so embarrassed that the only words I could splutter were :

" Don't worry, it's the dog !"

The boy looked all the more flabbergasted as Canaille doesn't look like a performing dog !

I immediately realized the misunderstanding, and to put things right I added :

" Sorry, it's not the dog who has giggled,of course ! It's the squirrel ( still under my bottom !) ! ".

That was the full monty !

At that precise moment I think our hitchhiker had only one thought : get out of the car at the next traffic light and take to his heels !

I didn't know whether to cry or to laugh, but you can't change how you are made ...

I got a fit of the giggles.

Fortunately my husband made up for it, and while I was trying to get serious again, explained the whole matter !

I wanted to apologize and say that sometimes squirrels drive nuts but I held back. That pun might not have been welcome!