CHAPTER NINETY-SEVEN :
Today is Monday December 19th, and now let's face it : the countdown has really started.
The countdown to Christmas, of course, but I guess if you are old enough to read this blog, then you are too old to believe in Santa Claus, or it's just wishful thinking.
So, don't count on me to give you tips and tricks not to get lost in the hustle and bustle of Christmas. For a lot of us, last lap before Christmas often means hunting for the perfect gifts, cooking, decorating, and all that jazz. To sum it up : a nightmarish marathon race !
No, I mean the countdown to Year 2017 we have been jonesing for !
You know, when on December 31st the clock strikes midnight, and you feel excited to make a fresh start : a new year, a new life, good resolutions and so on !
Most of the time you wake up the day after with a hangover and silly
resolutions you will fortunately have forgotten by the end of January !
Come on, I'm not a killjoy, I'm just clear-sighted.
I have already experienced all that dozens of times !
Can you believe that ? Making crazy resolutions years after years, then feeling guilty for breaking them, and yet, the year after, starting all over again !
Boy, I'm not that stupid ! Once was enough to teach me a lesson !
Jeez, it was such a powerful lesson that I still remember it as if it were yesterday.
So, let me share that ' dark ' memory with you.
Don't worry ' dark ' is just a kind of clue ...Nothing bad ,sad or mad
(nothing mad ? Um, um) happens in this blog !
The only fateful time I made a resolution on January 1st, I had been teaching adults for nearly three months, and, I must confess, things were not getting on that smoothly.
I used to spend whole weekends preparing my classes, rehearsing in front of the mirror, asking Dearhubby and the children to test the exercises to check if they made sense.
When my dear volunteers said everything was ok, then the sky was the limit !
Unfortunately, Mondays came, and then, things got quite different ...
Bye bye Carefree Perky !
Sweaty hands, throbbing heart, jelly legs : that's how I stepped into the arena, Imean, into the classroom !
I was so strung up that, when writing on the blackboard, I often happened to drop or even break the chalk !
And my voice ! Dear me, I sounded like a sheep crying for its mummy :
" Mummmy, mummy, come to fetch me, otherwise all those people will shear me ! ".
My adult learners never ' sheared ' me . Quite the contrary, they helped me ahead !
Anyway, on that January 1st, I made the resolution to be less shy, less awkward, more self-confident, more casual, and to have that kind of
' I know the job ' behaviour.
A few days later, I was challenged to stick to my silly commitment.
I was asked to give one-to-one tuitions to a chartered accountant. Two challenges at a time !!
First, I had never given one-to-one tutions before, and just to think about that sent me shivers along the spine !
Then, to a chartered accountant ! Maths had always been my pet peeve, so how on earth would we get along well ?
Actually, the man turned up to be well-mannered and sociable.
Cheerful and all smiles ? Well, not really, but after all, you can't expect someone dealing with figures all day long to be beaming with joy, can you ?
During the first tuition, I managed to sound self-confident, to pretend to know the ropes and be like a fish to water.
I had left my pounding heart, my cotton wool legs and my bleating voice backstage, and my ' one woman show ' didn't go on too badly.
When I left the conference room, I was on cloud nine .
I had not shied away, I had stuck to my resolution : I had been self-assured and calm !
Now, I could walk through the office door proudly, and even better, pop in to the nearby pastry-shop for a small reward.I deserved it, didn't I ?
I pulled the door open, it slammed behind me, and there I was ... standing in the dark (you remember the dark memory at the beginning of the story ?) in ... the broom closet !!
No way to open it from inside !
I started banging on the door, crying for help ! Nothing ! Just the sound of silence !
I suddenly realized with horror that it was lunchtime. Everybody had gone out !
If I had not made that ridiculous resolution, I would have refused that contract, and by now, I would be enjoying a crunchy chicken sandwich in my favourite eatery !
My mouth was watering....but all my " Open Sesame "stayed vain !
And the brooms in the closet did not belong to Harry Potter, so no way to ride one and fly away !
The place was rather dusty, and after a while I started sneezing. That beat all !! My allergy was back !!
I was sneezing for the umpteenth time when I heard a voice asking :
" Is there anybody in ? ".
I sneezed out a relieved " yes !! ".
The door opened slowly, one of the secretaries was staring at me speechlessly.
She was as white as a sheet, as if she had seen a ghost, and I was red with shame !
If I had been more self-confident, I would have gone out of the closet casually, swept aside any explanations (with all the brooms, it would have been easy ) and walked away.
Or, even better, I could have said : " My broom won't start. I'll take the bus".
And then, I would have kept my resolution not to be shy anymore, but my miserable situation was beyond me !!
Once more, I got tongue-tied, and just spluttered " bye " and fled away.
The next week when I arrived in the office, there were signs on each door...
The chartered accountant let me in and asked me if I had found my way easily ...
I blushed !
I was still shy, but at least I had learnt that people dealing with figures can have a sense of humour !
After that adventure I was done with any resolution for ever !!
That's all folks !
I hope you have enjoyed my story and that it will give you food for thought before making any New Year resolutions !
I wish you a Perky Christmas !!
