A BOILING BIRTHDAY SURPRISE

Hi everydoggy, 

My name is Canaille. I am an English Springer Spaniel and Perky, this blog's owner, is my Mum.

As Summer Season is just on, she is pretty busy gardening and she lets me blog for her and entertain you with my funny and sometimes wacky adventures.

Well, some days are just plain harder than others, that's what yesterday was like for me. Here is what happened.

I am always peckish, I mean I want to snack all the time even if I've only just eaten a proper meal not long before.

So,of course, at home my favourite room is the pantry.

Unfortunately, most of the time it is locked, but yesterday Mum left the door slightly ajar and I could sneak into "the treasure room".

Poor me! On the shelves a lot of food, but either in cans, jars or packs, so no way to treat myself with anything.

I was about to turn back when I caught sight of a crate in the corner of the room, and guess what!

A lot of red balls in it!

For sure, it was my birhday present that Mum had hidden there till my 

B-day (on September 6th for info).

I couldn't help testing one.

It didn't bounce at all, but the "roll the ball " technique seemed to work perfectly.

So, there I was, busy rolling the ball and jumping to catch it when suddenly Mum broke in and said :

" Canaille, you're really a naughty boy ", and then she took the crate to the kitchen and started washing all the balls.

Quite true that they were rather earthy, but Mum knows that playing with dirty or muddy balls has never put me off.

Anyway, she still had a surprise in store for me and, believe me, an awfully bad one…

Once she had washed all the balls, instead of inviting me for a good

" Fetch the ball! " game, that silly clean freak threw them all into boiling water!

Jeez, cleanfreak? Rather borderline germaphobe!!

I was just like my birthday present in the pot : boiling over! What a dog's life!

I was about to blow the fuse when Mum said to Daddy :

" I hope those red potatoes will be tasty, cause they are rather expensive!" .

Naughty me, instead of testing my so-called birthday present, I should have tasted it. I had barked up the wrong tree. That will teach me!

Curiosity killed the cat, but the dog, as well!

That's all for now, dear readers.

Feel free to share my adventures with whoever you want to.

                   Your faithful Canaille, the darling of the blogosphere

HOW TO DEAL WITH UNEXPECTED GUESTS

Hello everydoggy,

My name is Canaille. I am an English Springer Spaniel and Perky, this blog's owner, is my Mum.

As Summer Season is just on, she is pretty busy gardening and she lets me blog for her and entertain you with my funny and sometimes wacky adventures.

If you have read my last post, you already know that there are two foxy intruders in the garden, ready to take my place in Perky's heart.

Of course, I know it won't happen, cause there is not a second in the day when I don't show Perky I love her to the moon and back.

As soon as she gets up, I follow her room-to-room. Sometimes she grumbles that I'm always underfoot and that she should have called me

" Glue-Glue " or "Sticky" instead of Canaille. 

Anyway, whatever she calls me doesn't matter, cause the issue today is how to deal with the two foxes who have been squatting the garden for nearly one month now.

Those two guys are really cheeky and feel footloose and fancy free in my favourite playground!

Yesterday they tore to pieces one of my squeaky toys and Perky just said was that it was my fault cause I should have brought it back home!!

Sometimes "Mrs I-give-lessons-to everyone" gets on my nerves…

But she is my darling and I forgive her everything, except her last light bulb moment.

You know what she has declared?

That if the two foxes come every evening after dinner, it's because they are hungry and begging for some left-overs!

First I had a great aha moment, cause, you see Perky is a good eater and there are never any left-overs.

But a few seconds later my blood ran cold when she added that maybe she could try giving them some of my dry pet food!! 

That girl is as cheeky as the two foxes in the garden! She could at least have asked me!!

So, dear readers, before that naughty girl makes an irreparable error, please leave some comments and suggestions on how to deal with those unexpected guests!

Thanks in advance.

Canaille, your favourite entertainer.

LOOK AT THE PHOTO AT THE END OF MY POST AND HELP ME!!

Hello everydoggy,

My name is Canaille. I am an English Springer Spaniel and Perky, this blog's owner, is my mum.

Just a short post to ask you, dear readers, for some comforting words, cause my heart is nearly broken.

I think I am no longer Perky's and Daddy's only darling!

Of course, I still get a lot of cuddles and treats (not enough in spite of my begging eyes), but I feel there's something going on.

Every evening after dinner, instead of  sitting in the sofa with me squeezed between them, they stay on the terrace and whisper.

You see, when Perky tries to play the dog-trainer and gives me silly commands such as "Sit" or "Stay still", I pretend to be deaf, cause my honor is at stake : I am not a performing dog!!

But when Perky and Daddy whisper, I know I must prick up my ears, cause they are planning either a ride to the vet or a visit at the groomer's.

But this time nothing of the kind.

Every evening it is the same old tune. 

They go into raptures about my future challenger's pointy ears, fluffy coat and bushy tail.

Then, they say he must be young.

Why on earth do they want to get a puppy?

I'm nearly twelve, but when it comes to raiding the kitchen worktop or digging holes in Perky's flower-beds, I am second to none.

So, what else do they need?

Puppy's pee and poo on their carpet??

Jeez, human beings are sometimes unpredictable!

And the worst is that sometimes they add that he must be abandonned.

Well, good intentions, but they will be disappointed, cause at the nearby dog-shelter there are only old-timers.

Anyway,I think there has been a misunderstanding : " he must be abandonned"  is not an obligation, but rather a strong probability, cause Perky has taken a photo of my rival waiting in the garden with one of his buddies. The more, the merrier? How cheeky!

So, please look carefully at the photo, and tell me what breed is the new dog who is trying to rob my place in Perky's and daddy's heart?

Thanks in advance!

A GOOD LIFE MOTTO

Hello everydoggy,

My name is Canaille. I am an English Springer Spaniel and Perky,this blog's owner, is my mum.

Today a short story to show you that whatever happens, you can always look on the bright side.

A while ago Perky took me to the vet because my eye was red and teary, and that naughty guy wrapped my head with an awful plastic stuff. 

It looked like a sattelite dish but it  must not work, cause it doesn't catch any tv channels. No way to watch the latest episode of  my favourite series "Game of Bones".

On our way back home we met a friend of Perky's and she said that it looked like as if I had a lampshade around my head. 

Did she mean I had a light-bulb shaped face? How cheeky of her!

Anyway, it couldn't be lampshade, cause it didn't light my way. Quite the contrary! I kept bumping into everything!

So you see, I had every reason to complain and make the saying "It's a dog's life" my life motto.

But I am not that kind of guy. English Springer Spaniels are wired for happiness and whatever happens, I always make credit to my breed.

Wearing that "cone of shame" meant getting eye drops 5 times a day and that was the bright side…

On the very first day of the treatment, I immediately showed Perky that putting drops into my eye would be a tough job.

Whatever sweet nonsense she cooed into my ears, I kept moving my head and blinking. So all the eye drops fell on the floor.

You see, Perky is sometimes a bit slow on the uptake, but when she realized I was winking at the fridge, she had a light bulb moment!

She took the cheddar cheese , my favourite, out of the fridge and  put it on the worktop.

Of course, I stared at that yummy treat with my eyes wide open, et voilà, in no time the drops were in my eyes and a bit of cheddar cheese in my mouth.

Lucky me, the prescription is : 2 drops in the right eye five times a day!

That's why my life motto is " When life gives you lemons, make lemonade".

What about you? Are you wired for happiness? What is your life motto?

HELP!! I NEED SOMEDOGGY HELP!

Hi everydoggy,

For those who don't know me yet, my name is Canaille. I am an English Springer Spaniel and Perky, this blog's owner, is my mum.

First off, sorry for not posting last week, but once you have read my story, I'm sure you'll forgive me.

On Friday, April 26th,  when my tummy-connected clock rang, I woke up happy and ready for a good food bowl. As usual my right eye was a bit sore and tearing, but that small discomfort didn't prevent me from winning all  the "Fetch the Ball " games and from flushing out any hidden treats, so nothing to worry about.

After my morning stretching and scratching execise, I started pawing up and down* the kitchen, but unfortunately, whatever the way I looked at my desperately empty bowl, Perky sang the same tune :

"Sorry, Canaille, but the vet has said that you must be on an empty stomach".

The vet? I hate that guy! He is  really over inquisitive. Whenever I visit him, he can't help asking about my weight, and then he never fails to tell Perky I am on the chubby side.

Unfotunately, up to now nodoggy has been brave enough to tell him to mind his own business!

Anyway, I was up to date of my vaccines, so I tried to calm down, but when Perky offered to take a car ride, I immediately knew I was doomed to jump once more on the vet's examination table and bear his gibes.

Well, for once, he was  polite and told me I was a good boy.

Too polite to be honest…

A few minutes later he asked Perky to leave me and come back in the late afternoon!

I really freaked out and I saw that Perky had her heart in her boots, but yet she left me!

Then the vet gave me an injection and I fell into a world of dreams where I was the hero of the eight season of " Game of Bones ".

Unfortunately my dream turned into a nightmare when I woke up, cause while I was asleep, my naughty vet had put my head into a kind of funnel!

And you know what?

Instead of helping me to get rid of that ridiculous stuff, Perky just said :

" Don't worry, Canaille, within a couple of weeks everything will be ok and you will see clearly, cause your right eye won't cry anymore!".

So,  you see, I really need your help and all your tips and tricks to remove that cone of shame are welcome.

* For those who don't speak dog fluently,  to paw up and down means to pace up and down.

A BEDTIME STORY

Hi everydoggy,

My name is Canaille. I am an English Springer Spaniel and Perky, this blog's owner, is my mum.

I enjoy sharing my adventures with you and your comments always make my day even if some are a bit teasing. Look at the little tip Francoise Z., a caring reader, sent me last week :

                "Watch your weight greedy Canaille!!!"

Thank you dear Françoise, but unfortunately one more time the saying "words are wasted on a starving dog " * has  proved true!

Here is what happened :

I'm crazy about car rides, so yesterday when Daddy opened the car door, I jumped onto the rear seat, ready for a new adventure, and all the more excited as we didn't take the road to the vet or to the groomer!

Then Daddy stopped in front of the chemist's and said that he wouldn't be long.

OMG, the chemist's is close to the baker's and soon the sweet smell of their mouth-watering kouignardises (a Breton specialty) started  tickling my nose and my taste-buds!

https://www.facebook.com/La-Kouignardise-301708713885541

...What could I do but jump onto the front seat and try to break the glove box open? 

I know Perky often hides treats there.

It was not an easy job and I scratched so hard that my paws still hurt. But it was worth it!

Finally the glove box opened and I found myself in front of a big pawful* of sweets.

Never seen that kind before, so it was just like "blind tasting", but after all, "the proof of the pudding is in the eating".

When I heard Daddy's footsteps, I jumped back onto the rear seat and pretended to sleep while my delicious booty was melting in my mouth.

I was so good at pretending to sleep that actually I fell asleep!

I slept like a log and when I woke up, I was back home in my comfy basket where Daddy had certainly put me two hours before. 

I was as calm as ever but that was the calm before the storm named Perky (aka my mum) struck.

She was furious with me, cause she said I had eaten all the rescue remedy pastilles she takes when in need of some help with stress or anxiety.

Jeez, that's why those so-called sweets had turned me into a kind of Sleeping Beauty (congratulating oneself is uplifting))!

Zzzzz….Oops, sorry I have nearly fallen asleep again, and yet if I want to be in Perky's good books again, I must sleep with one eye open!

So next time you give me advice, I promise I will follow it!

* Dog-English translation :

Words are wasted on a starving dog  = Words are wasted on a starving man.

A pawful of sweets = a handful of sweets.

WHAT'S ON TV TODAY?

Hi everydoggy,

My name is Canaille the darling dog of the blogosphere and Perky, this blog's owner, is my mum.

This week I'll drop just a few lines because I'm on the watch!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a guard dog.

First off I think I was not born for the job.

And then, anyway, I'm too busy chasing the cookies to pay attention to the cheeeky rabbits who ruin Perky's flower-beds!

No, today I'm on the watch because Perky is in the kitchen and I must not take off my eyes off her.

You see,for me the kitchen is a strategic location.

If I manage to  sneak in, two possibilities.

Either I whine and make sheep's eyes at Perky , and then I can expect to earn my crust.

Or, much better, Perky is on a good day and she turns on the  kitchen telly.

As soon as my series is on, I keep glued to the screen!

Every time it is a brand new story, and in the leading part there is always a glamorous actress or a handsome actor.

Each episode is a real cliffhanger, and even though I know that suspense is bad for my old ticker, I can't help watching it till the end.

Unfortunately, it is always the same end and it leaves me frustrated, cause Perky turns off the telly, takes the main character in her arms and says in a dull voice :

      " Sorry, Canaille, but what comes out of the oven  is not for you! "

Why on earth isn't  the oven channel for me? Is it the same in your place? Please tell me!