BODY DOUBLE?

CHAPTER EIGHTY-FIVE:

                             

              

                                                Can you spot the differences ? No? This story is for you !!

Have you noticed how commonplace surveys and polls have become ? Now, we are asked to give our " considered " opinion on any kind of stuff !

The choice is boundless : from trivia such as washing-powder or wipes, to more serious matters such as health insurance or banking services, our feelings and personal experience matter. Or, let's say, pollsters pretend they do !!

I won't mention voting intention questionnaires French readers are doomed to be force-fed with over the next few months. That's another kettle of fish, and none of my business !!

I don't need surveys and all that jazz to bet that if I  ask you " Have you ever met a ghost ? ", I'll get a clear and straightforward   " Of course, not  ! " answer.

Hardly anyone believes in ghosts, except maybe in "The Canterville Ghost "thanks to Oscar Wilde.

So, forget about any stories of apparition, today !

No, let's be more cheerful, and talk about " doubles ". You know, when you're quite sure you've met George Clooney round the corner, and then once back home you hear on telly that the star is in L.A. ! Or, when in a bookshop you hand your book shyly to your favourite author for a dedication and the man behind the counter tells you that you must be mistaken and that the only thing he is good at writing is text messages. At least if the guy is not a prankster and doesn't scribble a fake signature on the flyleaf ! It happened to a friend of mine who realized she had been played a practical joke on when the bookseller invited her to a booksigning with the author the day after !!

We have all heard about celebrities hiring doubles either to send paparazzi on a wild-goose chase, or replace them in dangerous film sequences.

Well, what works for famous people could work for any of us, as well !

It is said we all have a double somewhere on this planet,someone who is your exact look-alike.

Believe me or not, I sought mine for over one year, but I must be a lousy tracker, cause I never came across her !

And yet, all this time I knew my spitting image was somewhere around...

Let me explain.

In those days I had been living in the same district for quite some time, when my double played her first trick on me ...

I was expecting some friends for dinner, and as we had not had poultry for long, I decided to cook some Guinea fowl.

So, I went to the nearby poulterer, cause, even though I was not a regular, I knew it was good value for money.

Hardly had I stepped into the shop when he asked me :

" Did you enjoy yesterday's free-range chicken ? ".

First I thought he was speaking to someone else, but when I turned back, I realized I was alone.

He misunderstood my hesitation and continued :

" I mean, if it was not that tasty, don't hesitate to tell me. You see, I've tried a new supplier, but before  making a deal with him, I need my regulars'opinion ".

Jeez ! Me ? A regular ?

I had not been to his shop for ages !!

Sure, he was mistaking me for somebody else, but to make sure I would get a prime Guinea fowl, I pretended to be one fo his loyal customers, and answered :

" It was perfect as usual ! ".

I didn't regret my white lie, cause the poultry was soft and tender !

Days went by, and I forgot the free-range chicken episode.

A few weeks later I was reminded that someone in the district was my spitting image ...

I was waiting for my six-year-old son to get out of his primary-school, when a schoolboy came to me, shook my hand and asked me if he could bring his mascot to our lesson the day after.

When I answered " which lesson ? ", he looked a bit taken aback and said : " Religious education, of course ".

Well, I had been baptized, I had made my communion, but since then a lot of water had run under the bridge.

The little boy looked so imploring that I told him everybody was welcome to religious classes !

I would have liked to get to the bottom of that cock-and-bull story, but the day after I was busy and couldn't check if one of the ladies in charge of religious education looked like me !!

To comfort me, Dearhubby said that some people don't have a good memory for faces, so no need to make a big deal out of that !

Unfortunately, a few days later his certainty was shaken ...

A new Thai restaurant had opened in our district, and we decided to test it.

The waiter greeted us very warmly, and led us to what he called  " our favourite table " ! A bit weird, wasn't it ?

But that was not over yet, quite the contrary !!

When I asked him about the restroom, he smiled and said :

"Still at the same place since last week ".

Jeez ! Was it a nightmare or what ??

The harder I tried to explain to him it was the first time I had been to his restaurant, the more suspicious he looked.

Then, to refresh my memory, he added :

" You had your credit card ready, but your mother insisted on footing the bill ! Is that ok , now ? ".

I gave up, but the day after I went back to the restaurant with my mum.

" Let me introduce you to my mother ", I said.

" How naughty of you to make fun of me ! I do know that lady is not your mummy !! ".

That was the last straw ! I was stunned and I left the place at the double !!

I could never solve the mystery of my " body double ", but things went back to normal when we moved ...

That's all for this week, folks !

Have a nice week , and don't forget : be perky !!

                                FOR SHARING !!!

A BAD HAIR DAY

CHAPTER EIGHTY-FOUR :

        

I guess I may sound rather sexist if I tell you that this week's chapter ,or at least a part of it, is mainly for girls.

Come on, no general outcry !

I don't want to tackle any touchy topical issue ! Far from me !!

Yet,I think that when it comes to hairdo,haircare and all thatjazz, girls are really much more talkative than boys. Even though the latter pay more and more attention to their haircut styles, girls are really unbeatable on hair matters : we can talk for hours about that ' highly important issue ' !

Yes,we all have experienced that 'hair-raising ' moment when you get out of the hairdresser's salon, and you just feel like being an ostrich (to bury your head into the sand) or an English judge (sure,even with a curly white wig you would look smarter!).

So,to sum up, a hairdresser appointment is, in most cases, either a bad memory or a stress-trigger !

But, hang on a sec ! A hair appointment means you have found the right hairstylist : hats off, then !
You're still on a nerve-racking and seemingly endless quest for a kind of magician who, with a magic wand, would keep changing your hairdo till you get what suits your faceshape and your mood, as well ?
That's another kettle of fish, and I can just wish you good luck !

By the way, keep me posted, cause I am on the same boat with you !
I spent years wandering from simple and a bit old-fashioned salons to showy and uber-trendy ones. In vain !!
Wherever I went, the cutters, talented or not, couldn't help letting out some disparaging remarks about my thin straight hair !

" Jeez, how thin it is ! Looks like baby's hair !".
" Does it ? Well, it makes me look younger,then ? ", I usually replied,
"does it imply I'll get the special fare for kids ? ".
They never answered !!

Well, as you must have already noticed, I'm a die-hard optimist, and I always try to look on the bright side.

So, tired of the hairdressers' honey-tongued smooth talk, some time ago I decided to face the fact : no matter how straight and thin my hair was, I had to make do with it !

Let me tell you that keeping "a sparrow's nest " , I mean my hair, in good condition is no picnic !
Fluffing your hair and putting down rebellous tufts demand time and patience of a saint !
And to crown it all, there is the cherry choice of the right shampoo !
A mammoth task, cause when you walk down the shampoo aisle of supermarkets, all the brands boast that they can give you the perfect bouncy and shiny hair you dream of !!

Anyway, two weeks ago, I thought I was done with that point.
The product was clear and mild (neither too thick nor too creamy), it did not weigh my hair down, quite the contrary ! It added volume to my scalp !
Yippee !! At last I could wash my hair and do it successfully !
It was no longer one of my main concerns !

No, last week my number one concern was to chase away bees ,wasps and bumblebees flying around me !
One window open and they would rush to me. Walking the dog along the country lanes and they would escort me !
I was getting fed up with their permanent buzz, and I must confess, a bit afraid, too !
A tiny mosquito bite turns into a huge blister on me, so what about a bee sting ?
Dearhubby was making fun of me and kept saying that it was one side effect of my sugar-free challenge (see chapter 82) ! I had so much sugar to sweat out that I attracted all the honey-gathering insects !!

I didn't bother his jokes till one day the word " honey-gathering " struck me like lightning ...

I had done without sugar for quite a few days, but I was still sweetening my tea with a spoonful of heather honey !
No, come on, that could not be that, of course !!

Honey, honey,...I had seen that word somewhere else at home, but where ?
I strived to find it out, and a few minutes later I rushed to the bathroom, grasped the bottle of shampoo and a magnifying glass
(small prints deserve their name, they are smaller and smaller, on purpose , I guess...) and then bingo !

" Nutrient rich organic honey and beer " were the flagship ingredients of my insects' favourite shampoo !

The day after I washed my hair with another brand and I had a bee-free day, but no volume !!

To comfort me, Dearhubby said :

" Honey, you can't have it both ways ".

I did not even turn a hair and just thought it was a bad hair day !!


That's all for this week, folks !

Have a nice week , and don't forget : be perky !


Dany the Perky

THE SOUND OFSILENCE

CHAPTER EIGHTY-THREE :

                                

                                      

                               

In the early days of the adventures of Dany the Perky Busy Bee, I told you about our gruelling quest for the Holy Grail, I mean, our Breton house-hunting.

I guess I also told you that we were so picky about homes that in less than no time we had become the local real estate agents' worst nightmares.

Were we too exacting or too stuck with ou ' must-haves 'priorities ?

I really don't know ...

Anyway, after touring more than two dozen houses, what should have been a fun,leisure -time activity turned into a messy,time-consuming and seemingly endless expedition !

We were about to give up , and agreed that that day's click on our favourite real estate website would be the ultimate one.

And there it was, spreading on the screen : our dream home !

Even before scrolling through the photos in the slideshow, we already knew it was the place we had been looking for !

To be really up to our expectations, our home, sweet home needed renovating, but never mind, it screamed potential !

After dealing with dodgy craftsmen and outrageous estimâtes, we were lucky enough to be introduced to a reliable and experienced contractor.

It took him no time to pull down some partitions, take up the old stained tiled floor, and dig the foundations for an extension.

Works were making good progress and we were thrilled to bits !

How naive of us !!

We had skipped the fact that being 500 kms away, we couldn't keep a close eye on the project, but that had not escaped our so-called trustworthy guy ...

Relatives and friends sent to spy on him couldn't do anything but tell us the works looked at a standstill !

At that rate, timelines agreed beforehand were doomed to be delayed indefinitely !

His ' don't sweat it and take it easy ' and his ever-changing explanations on the phone did not cheer us up at all, quite the contrary .

So, to prevent our renovation from becoming a 'never-again ' experience, and to protect our sanity, as well, we decided we would come to our home-to-be every fortnight to check the progress of the works.

On the way back from our third ' inspection ', we had to admit that living in a dirty construction zone with drywall dust on our pillows, deafening hammer-drillers instead of the gentle buzzer of our alarm-clock, and water turned off at 8am sharp , all that stuff did not make us happy campers !

If we wanted to keep a clear head and control, we couldn't skimp on sleep !

Then, for our fourth round of inspection, we booked in a nearby hotel, and as it was Spring time, we asked for a room with terrace and seaview.

After breathing rubbles dust, coating, plaster and cement, our lungs did deserve a good breath of fresh sea air, didn't they ?

While Dearhubby was discussing about the number of plugs and their places with the electricians, I was just looking forward to being a few hours older and slipping into a comfy bed !

At 10.30 pm , after a quick and light dinner, and a cold shower (two ingredients for a better sleep), I was lying in bed , ready to sleep like a log !

Hardly had we switched off the light when I started sneezing !

The rubbles dust side effects ? Well, our building site was not that dusty, so what ?

After turning and tossing, I suddenly realized my head was on a puffy feather pillow, and feathers and me have never been in good terms...

So, I got rid of the pillow, turned on the left side, knees pulled up high and chin tucked into my chest, my favourite position to sleep tight and have pleasant dreams(for example, moving in our new house the day after ! ).

Heck, what was that muffled noise ? Was I cursed for ever ?

I was about to whistle to stop Dearhubby's snores, when a glance at him stopped me dead !

My favourite works foreman was sleeping silently !

The air-conditionning, then ? In Spring, in Brittany ? Forget about it !

Jeez, I had been craving for some restorative sleep in a cosy room with a seaview, and there I was, sitting in my bed, eyes wide open and doomed to spend a sleepless night !

Hang on a sec ! A room with a seaview ? You know what it means in Brittany ? A room overlooking the Atlantic Ocean and ...its backlash !

What was advertised in the glossy leaflet of the hotel as a romantic lullaby turned my night into a night in hell !

The next morning after a brain-boosting breakfast (to recover from lost sleep), I rushed to the nearby chemist to get earplugs !

Don't get me wrong ! It was not to turn a deaf ear to our contractor's smooth talk, but just to listen to the sound of silence the next night !

That's all for this week, folks !

Don't worry, I won't bend your ears anymore with the twists and turns of our renovation adventures ! You have heard enough of that !

Have a nice week and don't forget : be perky !!

                                    FOR SHARING WITH WHOEVER YOU WANT TO !

SUGAR-FREE BIRTHDAY

CHAPTER EIGHTY-TWO :

        

                  

Hello you, all my dear well-wishers,

Thanks a million for sending me so sweet birthday messages. You really made my day!

Even though Dearhubby thinks it was rather cheeky of me to insist on my B-day, I must confess I don't have the least shred of shame !!

I was brought up not to ask for anything, but once cut loose in the wild world, far from the family nest, I quickly realized that if you don't ask you don't get. I paid the price for it more often than not !

So, now, every time my B-day comes around, I usually let myself go !

Bye bye the good girl, let the naughty one come in !

Don't get me wrong ! Even if I have often lived it up, I have never danced on the table (at least up to now) or shown up in diapers or footed pajamas, just to pretend I was getting younger and younger !

No, nothing wacky or offbeat ! As years go by,I am getting more and more conventional, and to squeeze every second of happiness out of that special day, I just need a few basic ingredients :

. birthday cards, phone-calls and emails.

. a super yummy dinner out with Dearhubby.

. a birthday cake at home to blow the candles far from prying eyes

  (have you noticed how quick people are at counting the flickering

   flames ? ).

Should I say September 2, 2016 was up to my expectations " because "

or " even though " ???

Well, I guess I'd better explain and let you judge by yourselves.

. birhday wishes ? My letter,inmail and voicemail boxes were crammed

  with genuine and heartfelt words and blessing, so what more could I

  ask for ?

. birthday dinner ? Dearhubby had booked my favourite table in my

  favourite restaurant, so facing the sea and treating my tastebuds

  with fabulous seafood just flew me up to cloud nine.

. birthday cake ? Most of you already know I have a sweet tooth.

  For those who don't, just read chapter 53 " Always for a good cause,

  of course ", and you will see how thrilled to bits I get whenever I

  step into the " sweet temptations palace "(the local cake shop).

  Then, believe me or not, but the night before my birthday, just when

  about to fall asleep, I suddenly realized I had forgotten to order my

  favourite cake : a black forest !

Jeez !! In the early days of September the pastry chef is usually pretty busy, dealing with the orders of the holiday-makers willing to take back home his inimitable kouign-amann (as a present or for themselves , or both !).

Would he be able to spare some time to prepare my favourite palate delight ?

I had an awfully restless night : whenever I closed my eyes, chocolate sponge cake, whipped cream and cherries kept whirling around my bed.

The next morning at 8 sharp I was in the sweets sanctuary, crossing my fingers and hoping for good luck.

When it was my turn to order, I did my best to sound self-confident and said :

" A black forest for tonight, please ! ".

Well, actually, I guess my voice was just low and quavering, cause the shop-assistant replied :

" You don't mean tonight, do you ?  ".

" Yes, I do ", I spluttered out shakily.

" Let me see, it is  8.15 am and you'd like it for 7.30pm ! That's a real challenge !! ".

A challenge !! The word struck me like lighting !

I stammered some silly excuses and rushed out of the shop.

I had just remembered that a while before I had joined   FOOD FREEDOM - Bite into health -

group on Internet and taken on a one-month sugar-free challenge !!

The early days of that sugar-free journey had been rather tough, but little by little I was feeling healthier and ' lighter '.

So, falling off the bandwagon for a chocolate craving would make me go back to square one !

And even worse, I would disappoint all the friendly supporting members , and myself, as well !!

What a shame !

That's how on September 2,2016, I blew candles floating on an absolutely fabulous  home-made fruit salad.

Blueberries, raspberries, watermelon, kiwis, oranges and pineapple chunks, turned my birthday into a colourful milestone in Perky Busy Bee's sugar-free adventures !

So now, what do you think ?

Should I say " my birthday lived it up to my expectations " because " or  " even though " ?

Let me know !

That's all for this week.

Enjoy yourselves and don't forget : be perky !!

                     

                       

                                 for  sharing this post with whoever you want to !

CHANGING LOOKS

CHAPTER EIGHTY-ONE :

                                

First of all, let me apologize for "September blues " episode. I don't know what went through my mind, but telling you that an uncomfortable truth is always better than a lie was rather preachy,wasn't it ?

There are enough sermonizers all around to cobble the truth together for what they call " our good ". No need to lay it on thick !

Anyway, today the Pinocchio effect (my nose growing)won't give me away,cause I'll play fair and start with, at least, a nugget of truth :

mapping out my new story and jotting down the funniest details was not as easy as pie !

First, because the end-of-Summer parties is in full swing (chatting and sipping in the last rays of golden sun), and then especially because over the last few days my eyes have been riveted to the calendar.

Come on, don't get me wrong ! I'm not on a tight schedule ! Far from it !

My motto in life is Carpe Diem. I guess it may sound corny, but I try to be present and content in the moment I am !

No, the reason for my sudden calendar addiction is pretty simple :

I'm holding my breath till next Friday, September 2nd, to be fit as a fiddle to blow the candles !!

Guess what ! It will be my birthday !

By the way, don't hesitate to cram my inmail box with a horde of wishes,blessings and sweet messages ! perkybusybee@gmail.com You will make my day !

Every year, as my D-day is coming, I feel like making a fresh start.

Changing figures makes my drive skyrocket.

" The older, the perkier and the busier " has always been my rule and I try to stick to it through thick and thin.

When I say ' a fresh start ', I mean new healthy habits and a better-balanced lifestyle, of course, but first and foremost  new goals, that is to say, as I read on the Net, new dreams with deadlines.

You have browsed through my posts for long enough now, to know how gung-ho I am and how easily I unleash my imagination.

Yet, when it comes to setting goals, I usually make sure they are not wildly unrealistic, but just achievable and relevant !

( flabbergasted, aren't you ?? ).

Up to now my method has been working quite smoothly and successfully ....oops, my inner Pinocchio is tickling me again !!

So, I won't let " the showoff I am about to be " tell you tales and lies !

Among the goals I have failed to achieve, I remember one and I will share my disappointing experience with you.

Don't worry, it won't be sad and you won't be grief-stricken for me, for sure !!

So, one year on my birthday (don(t forget : September 2nd) I decided to commit to making a big change:

giving myself a brand new look and adopting a new clothing style would be my main aim for the months to come .

No sooner said than done. Bye bye denim and cow-boy boots. My fashion makeover was on its way !!

Unfortunately, after purging my closet, I had to face the facts :

either I was doomed to go outside in just my underwear or my see-through nightdress, or it was high time to buy some dresses and skirts.

The last dress I had worn was my wedding one, so I couldn't rely on it to mailorder something fit and suitable.

Fitting-rooms have always been my number one pet-hate. But if I wanted to accomplish my goal, I had to overcome that obstacle.

So, there I was, locked into one of those poorly-lit tiny rooms, stuck between a merciless  mirror and a pile of dresses to try on.

Poor me ! When they fitted me, the colour didn't look great on me, and when they suited me, it was never the right size !

Jeez, I was in a sweat, fed up and eager to be done with that chore !!

I slipped into the last pencil dress left, nervously, and what was to happen, happened ....

I had forgotten to unzip it properly, and in a wink it turned into a straight-jacket.

I was standing there, my head half-stuck in the neckline, and my arms imprisonned in that awful " cigarette-case " !!

After five minutes which seemed an eternity, the shop-assistant knocked at the door and asked :

"Is everything ok, Madam ? "

Phew !! At last  the time of my release had come !

Too good to be true ...

Sure, that dress was good value for money , cause, even though the zip was not that convenient, the fabric was pretty thick, and then ...it muffled my voice quite well !!!

After two vain attempts at making myself understood, I had to give up any clear and intelligible explanations.

So, I started uttering shrieks.

It was just as if I had set off the fire alarm.

Within a few seconds I could hear the jingle of keys and I could feel the shop-assistant's helpful hand zip the ominous dress down !!

Just a glance at myself in the mirror was enough to crown my misfortune :

tousled hair, red cheeks crossed by the marks of the dress neckline and my mouth wide open to take my breath back !

What a sight !!

If it was to be my new style,better forget about it and focus on another goal on that year's list !

Want to know about my goal for this year : more photos and videos on my blog, and why not a hub for English Learning !

That's all for this week, folks !

Make the most of each day and don't forget :

  Be perky !

( and don't forget my birthday, either !)

SEPTEMBER BLUES

CHAPTER EIGHTY :

Wakie-wakie ! Time to wake up !

Captain Perky's naughty today, and she will twist the knife. But just the once will not hurt, will it ?

So, let me remind you that the countdown is on !

Come on, don't play dumb ! You all know that reverse count invented by Fritz Lang in 1929 to give more thrill to a rocket launch sequence in his film " Woman in the Moon ".

Anyway,today I'm not talking about any spaceship launch ! No, no Space Odyssey in my post !

Just the kick-off of back-to-work season ! Bye,bye the carefree days of July and August : September is fast approaching.

It's time to shelve swimsuits,straw hats and flip-flops, to throw away unfinished suncream lotion, even though you are reluctant, cause next year they'll be out-of-date and then risky.

The postcards you bought at the very beginning of your holidays ?

Just a few days left to drop a line to your friends !

Yes,time has come to bid farewell to 2016 so long-awaited vacation !

All good things must come to an end.

Mind you ! The landing can be hard,cause September blues sometimes makes the tarmac slippery.

But, I know that you are as keen as mustard to make a fresh start, aren't you ?

Don't get me wrong ! I'm not made of stone, either !

When Summer parties and BBQ treats are over, getting back to everyday routine sometimes makes me gloomy, but my perky busy inner self usually manages to take over.

Yet, things have not always been going on that way...

When I was a student and working part-time to get some extra pocket money, when my Summer holidays were coming to an end, I used to feel like calling in sick.

I never had the guts to.

Once, I nearly took the plunge, but at the very last minute, I behaved like those people at the swimming-pool standing on the dinving board, and unable to step off : I just shied away !

Let me tell you :

That Summer had been absolutely gorgeous : going to parties, making bonfires on the beach and staying up all night. You know, that kind of holidays you'll remember for the rest of your life.

Unfortunately, it was just a  kind of no-brainer that after August, September would turn up, and that year was no exception to the rule.

I didn't want to go back to work, all the more as my friends had still one week off left.

But what could I do ??

. Sprain my ankle to get a sick leave ?

  Ouch , too painful for a softie like me !

. Catch a sunstroke ?

  No way ! The weather had been rather wet over the last few days !

. Lose my train ticket ?

  My boss would think I was scatterbrained, and then not really cut out

  for the job I had in his company !

The more I racked my brain, the less I was  able to find a plausible excuse. All were bogus and totally wacky !

I had to face it : I couldn't escape my fate. I was doomed to go back to Paris, and carry out my ' harsh work '.

On my departure day, to cheer me up, my friends decided to come to the station to see me off. We arrived there two hours before my train pulled out.

One of the jolly fellows of our group suggested having dinner in a nearby eatery, instead of pacing up and down the ominous platform.

It would change my mind off things and avoid long tearful goodbyes.

The meal went on so cheerfully that when the waiter brought the dessert, I had already made up my mind :

one very last clubbing, and I would take the morning train, and go straight to the office. I wouldn't be fired for half-a-day late.

We danced through the night, and on the train journey back to Paris I slept like a log.

I guess I was not widely awake when I stepped into the boss's office, otherwise I would have given a better excuse, such as oversleeping for example.
Instead, I said that the night before I had not been able to get on the train, cause it was overcrowded.
An apology that could have worked as in those days you didn't need to book a seat to take the train.

I thought I was out of the woods, but then the boss asked me :

" Which train was it ? "
" The 11pm train from Quimper, sir ", I answered.
" Funny ", he replied, " I took the train at the first stop after Quimper, and it was nearly empty !

Jeez ! I got red all over and felt so ashamed of my poor lie that I could feel my nose growing  like Pinocchio's !

Fortunately that was not the only common point I shared with Disney's famous puppet !

He had a Blue Fairy, and I realized I had one, too, when I heard my boss say :

" Come on, I have been young, too, and I know the side effects of September blues ! But remember that an uncomfortable truth is always better than a lie ! ".

That taught me a lesson, and I hope those of you who were about to call in sick will think twice !!


In the meantime, wherever you are, enjoy yourselves and don't forget :

       Be perky !!

Mrs BUTTERFLY ?

CHAPTER SEVENTY-NINE :

          

Last Hump Day while I was mapping out our next call to enhance it and make it as funny as possible, I suddenly realized it was already mid-August.

Summer time has gone by so quickly that within a couple of weeks our maiden voyage will already come to an end.

Perky Busy Bee ocean liner will head for its port of registry,http://danysteiner.blogspot.com , to enjoy a fully-deserved wintering.To run the gamut of amenities and facilities for the next hassle-free sailing season, all the shipyard staff will work relentlessly.

A little bird even told me that 2017 cruise should offer special features such as a photo-video gallery, and, for non-speaking English passengers, an English-Learning hub ! The sky is the limit ...

In the meantime, your captain (that is to say, myself) will shelve her navy-blue uniform and white-peaked cap till next Spring break.

Don't get me wrong ! It does not mean that the crew will be laid off ! They have always stood by me through thick and thin, and, once on dry land, things won't change. I know I can rely on their unfailing loyalty to turn the hazards of life into funny twists and turns !

So, quite sure, as soon as September comes, Perky Busy Bee will be eager to gather the nectar of everyday life and share it with you !!

Anyway, I must confess I loved my Summer job. Being the shipmaster of a virtual cruise liner was a wonderful and enriching experience. Exchanging with passengers from all over the world was just awesome. Actually, I think we've all become true shipmates, haven't we ?

I'm far from being a braggart, otherwise I would say that I was cut out for the job !

Anyway, holding the helm and paying attention to the reefs suited me much better than standing on a stage and keeping an eye at my score !!

Let me explain...

Ages ago, in France when you put up at a hotel, on your arrival day, even if you were French, you had to fill in a form with all sorts of information : name, date and place of birth,address, phone-number, and, as surprising as it may seem, your job !!

I still wonder what the hell they cared about that last point.

Who could have been such a moron to write down as an answer: catburglar or hotel thief ??

Well, such were the rules, and as we were everything but outlaws, we used to comply with them.

So, once, when going on Winter holidays, as the ski-resort was rather far, we stopped halfway to have dinner and spend  the night in a charming little inn.

Dearhubby took the famous forms and said he would fill in mine.

Phew ! How nice of him ! My vision was blurry cause I was ravenously hungry, so answering all those silly questions was beyond me !

I just sat down in the lounge and waited for my ' knight in shining ' to do the job.

What a huge mistake !!

For a split second, I had forgotten Dearhubby was a prankster, and just a while later I got a strong reminder...

When he came back from the reception desk, he was smiling in a way which immediately made me fear the worst !!

Then he hugged and whispered in my ear :

"Congratulations for your new job ! "

I stepped back suspiciously and asked :

" What do you mean ? "

" Well ", he replied, "in the job box I have written down : opera singer !

The hotel manager said all the guests would appreciate if you could sing one ot two opera aria at the end of the meal. There is a stage in the dinning-room, and while we are having dinner, he'll manage to get a micro, a rostrum and some scores !

Fear and trembling !! The only things I had in common with  the famous Mrs Butterfly were the butterflies in my stomach !

All throughout the meal I was in a kind of haze. I had always been bad at reading music, singing in tune and all that jazz, and at that very moment, even my heart was not able to beat time properly !

I was in dire straits !

Dearhubby had played a practical joke on me, and I was doomed to face the music !

By the time the hotel manager's ominous " And now,ladies and gentlemen, ... " chimed in, I was just the shadow of my former self !

Heart pounding, legs shaking and eyes blinking ? Sure I was going to split off from myself !!

I bade farewell to my earthly life and stood up.

As I was about to take off for Heaven or Hell (who knows...), I suddenly felt Dearhubby grasp my hand and force me back down onto my chair.

" Hey Perky ", he whispered, "take it easy, it was just a joke ! ".

The drum rolls in my ears faded away and I could catch the last words of the hotel manager's announcement : "....the famous conjurer ! ", and then a thunder of applause !

Yes, that night there was a performance, but Perky Busy Bee was not in the limelight.

My personal conjurer had played a trick on me,but not a magic one !

Hang on a sec, revenge is a dish best served cold ...

You'll hear about that in another episode !

Have a nice week and don't forget : be perky !!